How do you deal with integrating contrasting beliefs and ideas? Or having lived in a way that harmed your deeper values? I find this hard and it hurts.
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Perhaps we need to learn to forgive ourselves more and forgive others. Maybe religion can help, but they don’t allow that discussion here much. Only meds.
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When I used to be active in a fundamentalist church, I would follow all the rules, but then break free and go party for a while and then feel awful and go back. I’m no longer living extremes like that anymore. That way I don’t either feel the need to follow every rule and I don’t feel the need to break free from rules. I live in between and it’s a lot more comfortable
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