It’s kind of embarrassing when you have to see a new doctor for booty issues and they notice old scarring on da exit port. I be like, “yeah, about that…” I have to keep explaining that I’m straight as well.
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I’m sorry man.
You should be proud of your life now,
Not many people can pull themselves out of that kind of trauma.
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I’m so sorry, @anon82948922. I’m glad that you are no longer in that situation. But I’m sure the trauma lives on. So, here’s some hugs. (hugs) 
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I think you are mistaking @Charles_Foster. She is not demeaning it or saying it should happen. Bullying happens, and it shouldn’t. What we need to do, is figure out how to teach kids who are bullied to stand strong and rise up against the bullies. Not let them get to us. I was bullied in school for a very short time while I was there by this stupid kid. He made fun of my Asian eyes. He’d make fun of my voice. He tried to fondle me behind a bathroom door. He was taller than me, but I had been trained well. I kicked him in the nuts and then he never bothered me again. I think this is what she means.
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No I didn’t misunderstand, my reading comprehension is fine. Again I will say, putting sole responsibility on the kid being bullied is wrong. When a kid asks for help from the school then the school should step in.
I’m leaving this thread due to its toxicity, but I wish everyone a pleasant day.
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It’s not front and center for me unless the topic comes up and then it fades pretty quickly after. I don’t have to ruminate on it all day now, so… Progress I hope. Too much to carry everywhere, all the time.
[ bites @Blossom’s ankle and races back under the couch ]
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Okay @Hemy thank you for your reply. Have a good day and try not to let it get to you.
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The school isn’t the social police.
The teachers are there to teach,
Not be your bodyguard.
The kid being bullied isn’t wrong and that’s not what I’m saying.
I’m just saying common bullying happens to everyone so we can stop being drama queens about it.
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How about you stop being pig ignorant and offensive about it.
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You opened the thread to opinions, man.
Sorry you don’t agree with all of them.
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The thing about school is that socialization is one of the things you do learn there. Also, everything is not going to go right. Some kids won’t get along. Some kids will be excluded. Some kids are completely useless at sports (hi there!). Some kids won’t get straight As. It sucks, but they need to learn to deal with social adversity and other failures in their youth if they’re to have any hope functioning as adults.
Adversity is where the opportunities for growth come from. School would not be as useful if it ran as well as everyone says they’d like it to. Things need to go wrong there so they can go (more) right when you’re grown up. Hopefully.
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I think a lot of the issue is a fundamental difference in what people call “bullying.” Most of the men I know who are still upset over “childhood bullying” end up describing experiences that most women would have referred to as “sexual assault.”
When I realized the misunderstanding between my concept of bullying and theirs, my empathy grew a lot.
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That’s what I was trying to express, is the difference in words. They all mean different things. Trauma, assault and bullied are very different. Some people have only experienced one or two, while some have experienced all three. To be fair, @Charles_Foster was ONLY referring to childhood bullying and I think that should be made clear. Assault and trauma are very different. Bullying is never okay either, and should never happen, but is definitely more common, and it can turn into trauma and assault very quickly if not managed by authority figures.
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Yeah. One of the kids in my school got “bullied” and never referred to it otherwise but it was a gang rape by 5 other guys.
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I’m not talking about sexual assault, real trauma or even extreme cases of bullying.
I’m talking about the kind of bullying everyone experiences.
I think it’s a necessary part of growing up and not something we should allow to hold us back.
Too many people hold on to the petty discomforts of middle school and such.
I guess with everyone having different definitions of “bullying” it’s difficult to be clear.
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I know that’s what you meant. I was just trying to explain why so many men have been upset by your words. It’s a fundamental difference in definition.
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What is the definition of bullying? Should we make a distinction for verbal and physical bullying? Is calling a child fat the same as calling a child a nier? Is calling a child “four eyes” the same as calling a child a faot? And, is it simply up to the child to deal with it, with the school playing no role because life is tough?
Again, I absolutely think the school must play a role by having a zero-tolerance policy in regards to bullying. What happens in school is not analogous to what happens at a gas station.
There are some students who are repeatedly bullied at school, with no school intervention, who will come to school not to fight but to shoot.
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There’s a lot of nuance to handling bullying between peers. Nobody is ever going to find a perfect solution that eliminates bullying.
I personally think a more effective approach for teachers is to make yourself known as a source of love and support for the students. If you get too focused on justice you’ll end up with kids refusing to report bullying because they will have to deal with retaliation. It is also really common for more socially adept bullies to manipulate teachers into believing their victim was the aggressor. Taking away the punishment aspect and focusing more on building up the students can be more effective in many situations.but every situation is individual and trying to apply any one uniform policy across the board will always lead to issues.
Same here.
I don’t give a flying ■■■■ about the things I went to school with. I am not harboring any thoughts of revenge but if they ever need my help whether it’s a flat tire or bleeding profusely then I will need to be properly compensated.
Skunks forgive but never forget.
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The best protection against PTSD is having reliable sources of support and acceptance in your life. PTSD has less to do with the actual events than with how much it disrupted your view of the world and your own safety. Knowing you have someone to talk to about things can be a huge game changer.
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