And I’d feel like saying “No, I can’t”. I don’t want to go through life saying I didn’t want to do it, I didn’t want to do it. That causes guilt. There is a reason we are not in tune with activities and no one seems to want to wait for us to get the answers. I am waiting for answers.
I think schizophrenia makes it so much more complicated.
Nowadays at peak meds and age I tend to think…ahhh. Most normal people think like this? You’ve got to understand that after a lifetime of racing thoughts, paranoia and other things my life is ever so much more complicated even now.
I feel your pain. Still. You sound to be pretty aware of your stuff these days. I didn’t get diagnosed till 29. I’m now 49. It was a hell of a long journey to get to here for me but I’m not in too bad a place…
How you doing now @PinCushion ? Sometimes those answers can be ever so elusive…
I’m doing ok for an old lady. It’s frustrating to think I lost my youth to sz. I’m in such a habit of isolation, It is difficult for me to appreciate anything else. I think I was born with sz = or at least born angry.
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Yeah. I’ve lived a similar thing. Always great love in my life but that sz stopped me from finding it till way later. Had a couple of years in the sun but had to leave for various reasons…
I always had excuses for why I went through life but I’d never understood paranoia. That is so insidious when it runs your life. It affects every single thought or thing you do…
It’s good to be angry. Any emotion is good but allow yourself some good ones too. I think you lost a friend in your home? Why not try and make another one. Friends really do make it easier to take yourself out of your headspace. That isn’t a bad thing. Even playing checkers can be a fun thing with two…not so much for one.
I cling to my headspace as if it’s the only thing I’ve got. If I associate with others, I lose it, or fear I will.
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Yeah can appreciate that but sometimes it’s good to try.
I’ve failed a million times but I go out every week to try. Every now and then it all comes good and having a friend or even a good conversation can alleviate that loneliness.
When I went psychotic I was so painfully lonely… Nowadays I could give or take.
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I’m still trying to tackle my irrational thinking. It gets powerful. I think it comes when I am just to defeated and angry to think well.
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