What do you think of friends who cancel appointments at the last minute?
Personally I don’t like such friends, but we schizophrenic can sometimes be sick right before an appointment.
I have one friend of schizophrenic, and one friend with bi-polar… they often cancel at the last minute.
I discuss this issue with the one with bi-polar, but she stopped the discussion because she felt blamed.
And we decided to keep a distance from each other, but I’m still feeling a bit angry about all of this.
I’d like to understand if she cancel our appointment because of her illness, but her reason was to wait for furniture to arrive, which has nothing to do with the illness.
And discussing this makes her feel unwell!?
I think she was just making an excuse.
What do you think?
Maybe she was sick and didn’t want to admit it.
Just do your part and believe she is telling the truth,this can save the friendship between the two of you…and maybe do something productive when she cancel your appointment with Her or ask other people out…these can make your anger away
Its possible that she didnt feel like going, but didnt want to hurt your feelings. Maybe would stress her to talk. Dont take it personally.
I used to have a close friend who would always back out on plans. It got to the point where I was really worried about her, because I knew she struggled with self-harm and very low self-esteem. I wanted her to be with us, her friends, having a good time and taking her away from those bad thoughts for a while. I thought I was doing a good thing. Eventually when she turned us down enough I got frustrated and called her a hermit, and began to tease around that she was anti-social.
I don’t think I ever meant it to be malicious, but there was definitely irritation on my part that I wasn’t able to do anything to help her. She got very hurt by all of it, and finally in the end she told me that she wasn’t just struggling with the other stuff, she also had terrible social anxiety. So in other words, I had been horribly insensitive. (Though in my defense, she could have just been open with me about that to begin with)
The point of the story is, you can never really know what’s going on with people. Be patient, and realize that if they don’t want to spend time with you there’s nothing you can do about it. At least you expressed your feelings instead of acting out passive aggressively like I did.