It happens to me a lot. Intellectually I know the delusions aren’t real while they’re happening, but they feel so real, i can’t “believe” they’re not. So much so that repeating “they’re not real, they’re not real” doesn’t even help…
In fact, saying “I wish this delusion would stop,” indicates you know it’s a delusion, but it still terrifies you enough to want it to leave your mind.
How is it different from knowing you have schizophrenia, while still being psychotic?
That’s a good plan, i think. @Wave did something happen in your life that might’ve upset you?
For me, old delusions and feelings come up when I’m experiencing extra stress. But that’s just me, and I also have C-PTSD, so that my be a factor in my recovery you don’t experience. Still, I know stress or lack of sleep, etc will do that.
Make sure you take care of yourself.
Do you have an anchor for yourself? Like a friend or family member (in your Covid safe bubble), that might help you remember what IS real when you’re having these thoughts?