people always tell me that i appear normal in public and such, however I now understand to some degree this is due to the need normal good individuals feel to ‘normalize’ our experiences. False comfort basically. A woman who was messed up on drug use and kind of had no filter at the time, casually mentioned how obvious it is to everyone that im not normal and they all can tell theres something wrong with me. I haven’t been on meds though, so im curious to hear what you guys think (those of you who are doing well that is). I taught myself calculus and my lowest score in high school was an 88 in chemistry, yet people interpret me as simple or stupid due to my disconnect from body, mind, and reality.
Not interested in toxic or pointless answers, thanks.
So is thinking i’m a walking freak show a belief of mine or is it based in reality? I’m only 1.5 weeks on zyprexa so hopefully i’ll be normal later on. thatd be cool.
It depends on the schizophrenic if people know there is something wrong with them. Sometimes I can appear to be the pinnacle of mental health, and other times people are thinking, “what in the world is going on inside that guy’s head?” I find it refreshing to take a little vacation from reality once in a while.
people have told me my eyes looked different during mania and psychosis. my dad said in one of my psychosis my eyes had a very dark blue to them, when there usually light blue.
i used to get dysphoric mania which i would wish on no one. After a big work day, I’d go to the gym for 2 hours and do this big workout to try and tire myself out, my eyes were like stuck open too much as if id had like 10 coffees. I remember some bodybuilder guys talking about me saying I looked crazy.
Then I’d go sit in the sauna until I couldn’t stand it. Oiiii I do not miss that crap.
I never experienced mania, I dont know how it feels. I guess from what I read its like being on too much stimulants, having racing and grandiose thoughts? I read that it can make you violent just like psychosis.
I think toxic people cause schizophrenia because they put needless stress on people and stop them from living up to their full potential. I don’t think the most important things in the world could have been done, if those people had to be around toxic people. Toxic people seem to be unable to comprehend important concepts.
it depends, im not gonna lie, its felt better than any drugs I ever tried, when it is a euphoria. maybe that protected me from getting into drug addiction in a weird way.
hypomania is like racing thoughts, grandiose ideas and euphoria usually.
mania is all of that but then usually you end up thinking your gods prophets or some government mission or whatever your mind latches onto. psychosis is blended with it typically i had voices and stuff.
usually mania i ended up in some form of uncontrolled extreme rage which was just plain scary.
In my mid-thirties I worked at Sears unloading trucks on a crew. My co-workers were mostly in their late teens or early twenties. They could get pretty mean as a lot of people can at the age; showing off to each other or to the salesgirls. I worked shoulder to shoulder with them for four years and I got my share of put downs or rude remarks but none of them knew I had a mental illness. If they had known, believe me, I would have heard about it all day. And incidentally, I was one of the best workers for almost three years. But yeah, I worked under stress, working fast as possible, and lifting heavy things all day and I was treated normally enough. I mean working in such close quarters, I would have known immediately if someone had thought I was mentally ill. And also I took packed buses to get to work with school kids and other people for an hour and a half one way, and then an hour and a half back. I didn’t stand out and nobody really hassled me. I did that for 5 years and also was attending college at the time.
I tend to stand out in a crowd, but I think that is more because of the trans thing than the schizophrenia thing. I did have an ex girlfriend tell me I had crazy eyes, and that I basically broadcast weirdo vibes. But ive never had difficulty making friends.
It can be all of that. I didn’t have any kind of ego-dystonic (subjectively unpleasant) racing thoughts, but did have an intense flight of ideas. Another important symptom is the reduced need for sleep, and/or increased energy. Often there can be dramatically increased motivation (opposite of apathy). Yes, classic mania includes euphoria, but there is so-called “mixed” mania that includes unpleasant symptoms such as dysphoria, irritability and even suicidal thoughts. One of the most common signs of mania (either type) are impulsiveness, impaired judgement and lack of critical thinking. This impulsiveness can increase the likelihood of suicidal acts and gestures or even aggression.
Yes, at times, when something triggers (provokes) you. It’s easier to get angry, and when you’re angry, it is easier to resort to violence because of increased impulsiveness.