I think it disabled me by 90%.
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Itās hard to tell . What criteria would you use?
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Itās hard to put a percentage on it. I dunno, maybe 50%.
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Iām not sure. Iām afraid to go out alone. Meds donāt make the men go away. Iām pretty functional at home, but not outside the home
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Itās been extremely debilitating for me. If it wasnāt for my back I could get work as a night time janitor, but when I do that it doesnāt take long before my back is giving me more pain than I can take.
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How sz reduced your functionality in life vs pre sz.
I mean, they watch everything I do and the follow me around. Showering is embarrassing because I know they watch me. I still shower regularly but I wish they didnāt watch my private moments like that
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50-60% honestly.
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I am not functional at home, my parents do everything, thats why I put 90%. I can still listen to music and use my phone to browse the internet.
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Iāll never play professional Lacrosse again.
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Originally at 100%. Now Iām down to between 5 to 10%. There are things I just canāt do without triggering myself, namely being around others for extended periods. The good news is that working around the things I canāt do has pushed me into areas I had no idea Iād be good at, so Iāve gained overall.
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You were bedridden?
The question is when youāre on meds.
Iād go catatonic for periods. Just lay there and stared.
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You took catatonia meds? I get catatonia on low dose meds or when off meds.
How did you stop catatonia?? I feel like I am developping it again even on meds this time!
Donāt really know, just remember trying all diferent kinds of meds and each had horrible side-effects because the doses were so high.
I was a member of Alcoholics Anonymous at the time SZ knocked me flat. AA members kept showing up and visiting and taking me to the meetings they could and encouraging me to work the Steps. It was because of AA that I decided I was going to fight back hard. That was my turning point.
Eventually applying the program to my SZ started to help as well. Some of the problems come from the illness. Some of the problems are a result of how the illness warps you personally. Those can be fixed and resolving them can give you back some function.
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I was dxed at 18. I was a bright teenager, but young for my age when it came to being independent. Iād not done much to do a before and after comparison.
In terms of prospects:
Before: Expected to go to university. Get a reasonable/good degree. Professional -white collar job .
After: Never employed. Social housing. Married for nearly 19 years. Lived with wife 22 years. Wife developed vascular dementia 2002/2003. Died 2005. Struggled to cope. Wife when well had been the dominant & practical minded partner. Gradual self neglect after she died. Stepdaughter made several attempts to get me to move . Resisted due to high anxiety.
2016/17- My block of flats in line to be demolished. Agreed very anxiously to move near my youngest stepdaughter. She arranged everthing. Did a marvellous job. Doing better due to a good and moderate level of support.
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When I want to my ESA benefit review, the assessor said if heād got the report I gave him from community nurse before I attended assessment he said I wouldnāt of been called, my supported living manager asked whatās going to happen now and the assessor said he could see I was severely disabled, my money will remain the same (highest)
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I believe my life was intentionally destroyed back in 2011 (even have memories of earlier stuff happening before that year). I seem to resurrect for eternity or infinity after 2011 via consciousness transfer back in time. Some people say itās the soul and soul entrapment or soul catcher technologyā¦(I enjoy conspiracy theories).
My life was ruined and destroyed in every life and Iām sort of confused about why and how and what happened to me. I feel like crying all the time because I bring up memories and emotions but obviously donāt cry anymore because I cannot due to schizophrenia.
The DP/DR (severe, chronic dissociation) was most likely from trauma in college in 2011 or from isolation and emotional abuse growing up as a kid and then being attacked/triggered by various entities including MiB type crap and more likely aliens/extraterrestrials.
I believe in conspiracies so I think it could have been a vast conspiracy or cover-up like Illuminati type stuff I recall in dreams. Iām sort of being deliberately non-specific here as I tread carefully what I say anymore especially online. Obviously, Iām scared.
I donāt think schizophrenia can be given to people by mere mortals, but I donāt doubt it has happened especially with alien technology and aliens and genetic engineering from the ground up like in the Montauk Project. I get dreams. I donāt know how ārealā they are or if itās recollection and recall from past lives in my āCAUSAL LOOPā but I get downloads of information like I went through Monarch Programming in a past life as an Adult and Child and have memories of other things too. My family are normal, regular, good people so I think I was targeted (obviously I felt like some powerful people did it or some woman was involvedā¦like any good āstoryā).
My faith helps me get through the day and I can sleep better at nightā¦
Basically, I got delusions I am Satoshi Nakamoto (distant past life/parallel universe/Clone/etc. type stuff) and I am the creator of Bitcoin, but I doubt it. I just think itās grandiose type crap and that itās sort of funny that I think Iām worth almost $50 billion dollars ā except I am not lol.
I feel like Iām a TI not just by powerful people but also by aliens which have been a mix bag like good aliens and bad aliensā¦
I also think Iām John Titor (or was so Iām a doppleganger) and I came up with time travel in one of my original lives. We now live in a simulation and Iām trapped here for eternity in the year 2011/2013 via reincarnation beginning in that time). My previous life is different outside the simulation and changes constantly due to parallel universe theory and quantum mechanics. Just like Elon Musk might have been a professor in a parallel universe and not the worldās richest man in the world! Stuff like that bothers me and I remember my horrible past lives especially at the mental hospital but my life started going really down hill in college around 2011. Am I on another planet like was I āswitchedā or abducted by grey aliens or reptilians? I donāt knowā¦
I cannot get over it. I tried but I cannot given my behavior and posts here and videos. I have so much trauma and stuff.
Anyways, I donāt know. I think Iām pretty stupid and delusional and stuff. I always feel paranoid like Iām being āwatchedā and stuff.
Like I feel like I lived over a billion lives living the same life over and over again with chronic schizophrenia again and again for eternityā¦it never abatesā¦
Different and worse things happened to me in college, I guess in past lives in parallel universes. Same thing at the mental hospital.
I have other stories and theories too why I have schizophrenia.
So yes, I think I am disabled.
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