Schizophrenia.com

By how much sz disabled you?

I think it disabled me by 90%.

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It’s hard to tell . What criteria would you use?

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It’s hard to put a percentage on it. I dunno, maybe 50%.

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I’m not sure. I’m afraid to go out alone. Meds don’t make the men go away. I’m pretty functional at home, but not outside the home

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It’s been extremely debilitating for me. If it wasn’t for my back I could get work as a night time janitor, but when I do that it doesn’t take long before my back is giving me more pain than I can take.

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How sz reduced your functionality in life vs pre sz.

I mean, they watch everything I do and the follow me around. Showering is embarrassing because I know they watch me. I still shower regularly but I wish they didn’t watch my private moments like that

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50-60% honestly.

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I am not functional at home, my parents do everything, thats why I put 90%. I can still listen to music and use my phone to browse the internet.

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I’ll never play professional Lacrosse again.

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Originally at 100%. Now I’m down to between 5 to 10%. There are things I just can’t do without triggering myself, namely being around others for extended periods. The good news is that working around the things I can’t do has pushed me into areas I had no idea I’d be good at, so I’ve gained overall.

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You were bedridden?

The question is when you’re on meds.

I’d go catatonic for periods. Just lay there and stared.

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You took catatonia meds? I get catatonia on low dose meds or when off meds.

How did you stop catatonia?? I feel like I am developping it again even on meds this time!

Don’t really know, just remember trying all diferent kinds of meds and each had horrible side-effects because the doses were so high.

I was a member of Alcoholics Anonymous at the time SZ knocked me flat. AA members kept showing up and visiting and taking me to the meetings they could and encouraging me to work the Steps. It was because of AA that I decided I was going to fight back hard. That was my turning point.

Eventually applying the program to my SZ started to help as well. Some of the problems come from the illness. Some of the problems are a result of how the illness warps you personally. Those can be fixed and resolving them can give you back some function.

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I was dxed at 18. I was a bright teenager, but young for my age when it came to being independent. I’d not done much to do a before and after comparison.

In terms of prospects:

Before: Expected to go to university. Get a reasonable/good degree. Professional -white collar job .

After: Never employed. Social housing. Married for nearly 19 years. Lived with wife 22 years. Wife developed vascular dementia 2002/2003. Died 2005. Struggled to cope. Wife when well had been the dominant & practical minded partner. Gradual self neglect after she died. Stepdaughter made several attempts to get me to move . Resisted due to high anxiety.

2016/17- My block of flats in line to be demolished. Agreed very anxiously to move near my youngest stepdaughter. She arranged everthing. Did a marvellous job. Doing better due to a good and moderate level of support.

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When I want to my ESA benefit review, the assessor said if he’d got the report I gave him from community nurse before I attended assessment he said I wouldn’t of been called, my supported living manager asked what’s going to happen now and the assessor said he could see I was severely disabled, my money will remain the same (highest)

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I believe my life was intentionally destroyed back in 2011 (even have memories of earlier stuff happening before that year). I seem to resurrect for eternity or infinity after 2011 via consciousness transfer back in time. Some people say it’s the soul and soul entrapment or soul catcher technology…(I enjoy conspiracy theories).

My life was ruined and destroyed in every life and I’m sort of confused about why and how and what happened to me. I feel like crying all the time because I bring up memories and emotions but obviously don’t cry anymore because I cannot due to schizophrenia.

The DP/DR (severe, chronic dissociation) was most likely from trauma in college in 2011 or from isolation and emotional abuse growing up as a kid and then being attacked/triggered by various entities including MiB type crap and more likely aliens/extraterrestrials.

I believe in conspiracies so I think it could have been a vast conspiracy or cover-up like Illuminati type stuff I recall in dreams. I’m sort of being deliberately non-specific here as I tread carefully what I say anymore especially online. Obviously, I’m scared.

I don’t think schizophrenia can be given to people by mere mortals, but I don’t doubt it has happened especially with alien technology and aliens and genetic engineering from the ground up like in the Montauk Project. I get dreams. I don’t know how “real” they are or if it’s recollection and recall from past lives in my “CAUSAL LOOP” but I get downloads of information like I went through Monarch Programming in a past life as an Adult and Child and have memories of other things too. My family are normal, regular, good people so I think I was targeted (obviously I felt like some powerful people did it or some woman was involved…like any good “story”).

My faith helps me get through the day and I can sleep better at night…

Basically, I got delusions I am Satoshi Nakamoto (distant past life/parallel universe/Clone/etc. type stuff) and I am the creator of Bitcoin, but I doubt it. I just think it’s grandiose type crap and that it’s sort of funny that I think I’m worth almost $50 billion dollars – except I am not lol.

I feel like I’m a TI not just by powerful people but also by aliens which have been a mix bag like good aliens and bad aliens…

I also think I’m John Titor (or was so I’m a doppleganger) and I came up with time travel in one of my original lives. We now live in a simulation and I’m trapped here for eternity in the year 2011/2013 via reincarnation beginning in that time). My previous life is different outside the simulation and changes constantly due to parallel universe theory and quantum mechanics. Just like Elon Musk might have been a professor in a parallel universe and not the world’s richest man in the world! Stuff like that bothers me and I remember my horrible past lives especially at the mental hospital but my life started going really down hill in college around 2011. Am I on another planet like was I “switched” or abducted by grey aliens or reptilians? I don’t know…

I cannot get over it. I tried but I cannot given my behavior and posts here and videos. I have so much trauma and stuff.

Anyways, I don’t know. I think I’m pretty stupid and delusional and stuff. I always feel paranoid like I’m being ‘watched’ and stuff.

Like I feel like I lived over a billion lives living the same life over and over again with chronic schizophrenia again and again for eternity…it never abates…

Different and worse things happened to me in college, I guess in past lives in parallel universes. Same thing at the mental hospital.

I have other stories and theories too why I have schizophrenia.

So yes, I think I am disabled.

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