Boss or boyfriend or both?

So, here is the deal. I am a recruiter by trade. I have been on disability for 6 years and have been essentially bedridden. I drive a used POS car and live in my dad’s extra room. It sucks! I have 6K TO MY NAME! Like in the whole world!
So, I met this man online and he owns several companies (he is extremely wealthy). Of course, I told him I had a “nervous breakdown” 6 years ago, that I live on disability and that I want to go back to work. He said he could use someone like me and that he could get me into a recruiting manager gig recruiting nurses for Covid 19 testing. He said I would travel to different states for this job. I don’t know how much I would get paid but he knows I used to make 100K a year.
We talk on whatsapp and he tells me how beautiful and sexy I am while, at the same time, saying he is going to help me get a job with his company. It’s a tad confusing. I think I would rather just work for him but if I tell him that, I am done for sure. I feel kinda trapped.

Lastly, I am not sleeping well AT ALL (3 hours last night), so I don’t know how I would function as a recruiting manager. I am practically bedridden and on disability and now I am talking about a travelling job that requires a lot of energy. I have been off my med for 2 months now.

If he wanted me to be his girlfriend, instead of work for him, I might be up for that too but he appears to want both. Like I said, he owns many companies and I would just work for one of them.

I want and need the money but I am so tired! Plus I am crazy AND I don’t know exactly what he wants.
Lastly, I have no work clothes. I am 20 pounds heavier than when I worked last and my old clothes don’t fit anymore. I have no money to go buy a new work wardrobe.

We talk again tonight and I know he is going to tell my how cute I am and how soft my lips look etc. Maybe I should just ask him “Do you want me for a girlfriend or am employee? or both?”


I think you may be being scammed.

Have you looked up his company or done any research?

Looked him up on Linked In to see if he is who he says?

Sorry, but this sounds a little too strange.


I agree with @Charles_Foster . Something about this doesn’t smell right.


When things are too good to be true, its a scam.


Sounds like a romance scam.


I haven’t looked him up on LinkedIn but he videochats me from his home which is magnificent and he showed me his cars too so I know he really does have tons of money. I don’t know? I guess I will find out soon enough. I hope he isn’t a scammer but we’ll see.

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How did you meet?

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We met on eharmony, the dating site. I told him I was unemployed and on SSDI and he offered to help me while, at the same time, continuing to court me. I don’t know if it’s a scam or what.

Believe it or not, I am mostly concerned with if it is NOT a scam, how can I work if I don’t start sleeping better? I am tapering off Xanax. It’s brutal!

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A lot of red flags on this one.

Best to err on the cautious side.


I still think it’s a scam.

I would look up his company, google his first and last name and find his linkedin profile.


Good advice. I will research his companies and look him up on LinkedIn. In all fairness, I deleted my LinkedIn and Facebook 6 years ago when I went crazy and I have had people think I am a scammer because I don’t have FB or LI but I really don’t…

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You just need to be really cautious.

Find out as much as you can about him.

Do you know his last name and where he’s from?

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And go on one of those sites to do a background check to see if he’s ever been in legal trouble.


OK. I am talking to him in a few minutes. I am scared to piss him off but I will tell him I want to verify him online for my safety and see what he says.

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If he is legit, then he will understand that women face a lot of danger meeting men on the internet, or even when they meet in person for the first time. If he gets angry, instead of being understanding, that will tell you a lot about who he is.


He’s just trying to get in your pants.

Forget it and if I were you I’d stay away.

I’m a dude and I know bs when I see it.

I was told by my lawyer when I won my disability case that if I go back to work it would be nearly impossible to get SSDI back.

I was making $50k a year when I was working. I would rather work but I need a stable income and a way to get my meds.

Yeah surviving on a 3rd world income in the richest nation on earth sucks.

At least you have $6lk saved up. I know it’s not enough but at least it’s something.

My mom and grandma are all I have and both are dying. Soon I’m going to be all alone in this world with a severe mental illness. It’s scary.

Seriously though stay away from that dude.

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He could be using the job offer as leverage to either get you as a girlfriend or to just get sex.
I mean if you feel you can’t get the job without having to become romantically involved then it’s working.

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I’m so sorry about your mom and grandma :frowning: That’s rough.

I hear everyone’s warnings and I heed them! I was able to verify that he is who he says he is. He really does own several companies but that doesn’t mean he is really going to give me a job. He bids on government contracts and he is waiting to find out about the one I would be working on. He will know in a couple weeks.
So…I am in the same position, lol. He really is very successful but will he do anything for me? Who knows. I haven’t slept with him and I am not going to. I hope he is legit.

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$6000 is a nice chunk of money by the way, when most people in America are in debt. But it could be gone in an instant.


I have ex friends that make 200 to 300K a year and it’s really hard to step down in lifestyle. I miss my Mercedes. I miss First Class. I have to get over it.