I have what my Pnurse calls “psychotic thoughts” sometimes, and some of them revolve around un-specific voices repeating my name an all variations of it.
Most of my real-life friends rarely use my name, and my online friends just know me as Nova, so it’s normally not an issue. Some even call me Chris, which is the name I’d like to have if I had a choice.
But I have this one friend. He sometimes use my name a lot to mess with me, and it’s gotten even worse since I told him it makes me uncomfortable to haer my name that often (didn’t tell him why). So now I often leave his place with those psychotic thoughts.
Does this happen to anyone else?
How do I make it go away?
It’s like my head is spinning and all I can focus on is my name, it’s super uncomfortable!
Not really. We all have vulnerabilities. If you tell someone about them and then they use them to mess with you then you’re just a masochist if you don’t ditch them.
But ditching them won’t solve the problem. The psychotic thoughts will still arise from time to time, and I need to learn how to give them less power over me.
Other name-users will come along and I can’t ditch every one of them because they trigger me.
The deal with triggers is to learn to give them less power, not completely avoiding them.
It is incredibly rude and disrespectful for someone to call you a name you don’t go by. In the trans community, we call that dead-naming. It’s the act of calling someone by their legal or birth-given name as opposed to the new name they chose for themselves.
It’s not a bad thing to hate your legal name. Lots of people do. Your friend is intentionally doing something that hurts you, because it hurts you. That shows a complete disregard for your comfort and well being.
I haven’t actually told any of my irl friends that I don’t want my name, mostly because I don’t want to have to explain myself 9000 times awkwardly and I just don’t want the hassle.
But my name bothers me. And it triggers my psychosis if I hear it enough.
I get that what my friend is doing is wrong, but he just thinks it makes me slightly uncomfortable, I haven’t actually told him how it really is.
I just wish to find a way to avoid those psychotic thoughts from triggering.
What I said is still true. He’s intentionally doing something you have asked him not to do. Consent applies to more than just sex. It applies to everything. He is calling you that name even though you have clearly told him you don’t consent to being called that. That is cruel. No matter what degree he thinks it upsets you, he still knows it upsets you and intentionally chooses to do it.
Exposure therapy with a trained therapist is a good idea. Repeatedly exposing yourself and continuing to expose yourself even when it hurts you will only make the problem worse. You need to do it in a safe and controlled way.
I mean, I’m all for ditching this friend because I’m assuming it’s the same guy that’s a douche to you pretty regularly, but he sounds like he’s just being intentionally annoying. Like when people say they don’t like the weird moist so you say it every chance you get because watching them make that squirmy face is kind of funny. So, . But I also probably wouldn’t tell him more because he does have a tendency to be a jerk and might use this against you. Hopefully it’ll blow over soon?
Don’t know why it happens, though. I start getting a bit delusional/maybe psychotic if I hear my son’s name very often. Especially if we’re at the playground and there’s another kid there with his name. It really messes with me. No advice, though. I don’t know. Sorry.
Probably not the same thing - but thats why i changed my name to Seth. It used to piss me off with the connatatoins on it that would make me sound thick.
I also came out as Bi-Sexual to my twin Brother as well. He just replied “do what you gotta do mate”. lol.
Ive always been more comfortable around gay fellas - rather then woman anyway lol. But i seem to have feminine traits like getting Broody around babies lol.
My friend just changed her name. Her new name is a wild one, but everyone is respecting it. I think you are probably having mental issues surrounding your name because it causes you stress and we all know what stress does to us.
Hi @Pikasaur. I told some friends that I don’t like being told to smile, it really upsets me. Then they constantly taunted me with, “Smile, Phoebe, smile!” thinking it was a great joke. I am no longer friends with those people.
It does sound like your friend is insensitive and possibly sadistic and cruel towards you. That kind of friend is harmful to you.
I’m sensitive about my name. I only like people very close to me who love & care about me to use it. I have to wear a name badge at work so customers randomly call me by my name. I find that slimy. My managers also call me by my name a lot which is probably professional but it really irks me.
I find it best to avoid stressors & triggers. Talking therapies just didn’t work for me, actually quite damaging. I rely on meds & minimising stress. Everyone is different so I guess you’ll just have to try some treatment & find what works for you. Have you got a mental health professional who can help you with de-sensitising you to your name?
. But I also probably wouldn’t tell him more because he does have a tendency to be a jerk and might use this against you. Hopefully it’ll blow over soon?