At My Wit's End

Hi peeps,

Hope all’s well :dizzy:

For the life of me, I just can’t stop buying stupid shiit.

I don’t know if it’s the illness or just a character flaw, but I’ve been impulsively buying things for the past year.

My pdoc knows, and I’m on a mood stabilizer (which is not really doing anything discernible), and my therapist knows as well.

I’ve filled my room with dumb stuff that can’t be returned, and constantly search Amazon for “deals.”

I drive between two states to TJ Maxx, hunting for bargains on my days off from work.

I’m hurting my relationship with my mom, as she is super worried and upset every time I walk in the house with more bags of shiit.

My most recent purchase, an Apple watch, is ultimately just another failure to curb my spending.

It doesn’t arrive until this coming Monday, and I’m already dreading picking up the package.

…I’m so fuucking dumb.

On the plus side, I did stop myself from buying an automatic soap dispenser by Simplehuman, which was on sale for $32, by the way.

Anyways. Sigh.

I don’t know what’s wrong with me.

I just want to live a simple life, move far away where there’s no TJ’s or Amazon, and be done with spending.

…Seriously at my wit’s end.

Thanks for reading :dizzy:

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I totally (or maybe only kind of) understand.

I seriously can’t go anywhere without feeling like I’m spending money.

I don’t know if it’s also a winter thing for me? Cause there’s like nothing else to do but shop or what… I buy clothes or something every time I go to the store🙄

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I wish I could offer some advice but I don’t get impulsive urges. I have the opposite problem, I am flat a lot of the time.

I also don’t have any money to buy a lot of stupid sh*t anyways :rofl:

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Yea, it’s like everything costs money these days.

But I hear ya-- it’s like a small victory if I walk out of a store empty-handed.

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Haha! Me either, actually.

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I’ve been having those urges to shop on Amazon for Christmas presents ever since I started shopping in late October. I find myself looking on the site for new things to buy every couple days. I’m hoping that this is just a seasonal thing and will pass once Christmas is over.

I have been resisting the urge to purchase more but I certainly understand the thrill that you can get from shopping. They make it so easy now.

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They certainly do make it waaaay too easy these days.

Do you think there’s any way to block certain websites like Amazon? It’s a shot in the dark, but it could possibly work in my case.

As far as your shopping goes @Bowens, it sounds like you’re just in the holiday spirit. Most of your purchases are for others, which is nice of you.

Mine, save for a few, have been for myself. Sigh.

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Is it impulse buying? Or do you have time to think before you buy something? I got into buying stuff too; a few years ago. It wasn’t out of control but I kept buying a few things a month whenever the urge hit me. Maybe you have an addiction to shopping/buying. There’s most likely a 12-step program for that. One thing that helped me stop impulse buying was something I read in Readers Digest or Time magazine. Before you make an impulse buy for something you think you just have to have, wait 24 hours. Think about it for a day before you buy it. Ask yourself, “Do I really need this?”. Ask yourself, “Can I live without this?” Ask yourself, “How is my life going to go if I don’t have this sweater, watch, purse, book, etc.?” Most likely, if you don’t buy it your life will go on and you will survive without it.

You seriously need to deal with this problem now. You could could end up homeless or on the streets because of this. You need to treat it like any other addiction and if that means joining a 12-step program or going into some type of rehab or program, then do it.
Because of this addiction it sounds like you are not only destroying your finances but you are destroying the rest of your life by destroying your personal relationships. Having an addiction does not mean you’re a bad person, It’s just a strong habit and compulsion and obsession you have no control over. If you can’t break this compulsion on your own then admit you need help and take the steps to get that help. Contrary to popular belief, if you are addicted to something, you don’t have to hit bottom before getting help. an addiction can be arrested at any time.

You seem like a decent person, don’t back yourself into a corner with this problem; don’t destroy your life, get help now.

Getting clean from crack was one of the best things I did in my life. I just took making a choice of whether I wanted to go on living the life of an addict, or did I want more out of life for myself? I decided to do something about my problem and joined AA, CA and NA and got clean in 1990 and it completely changed my life for the better. I became employable again, I enrolled myself back in college, I became trustworthy again. My family started trusting me again, I became responsible and dependable again.

You seem like a good person, you just have a problem you have no control over. But there’s help out there and people who want to help you. This isn’t some harmless little quirk where you go over your budget each month a little. This is a major problem that needs addressing. You’re not dumb, you just have a problem. And what’s wrong with you is you have a shopping addiction. It’s similar to being addicted to drugs, food, sex etc. You have to get honest with yourself about this problem and take real, concrete steps to combat it. Just like when I was smoking crack every day, will power was not enough. I could have the strongest will power in the world but my addiction was stronger and out of control. It took the help of other addicts who understood what I was going through and they freely shared what helped them to stay clean and I applied that to my own problem.

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Yes, I’m quite sure there is software for this. A google search would probably give you many results.

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Do you see a therapist? Maybe there’s some behavioral techniques you can learn to combat this.

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I have a similar spending problem when it comes to video games. I end up seeing deals for 75%+ off and end up purchasing many games. I have a few that I have never gotten around to playing yet. It’s a bad habit. I’m trying to slow down on purchasing them until I finish at least one before I get suckered in with the deals.

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I had shopping addiction on Abilify. It was serious as at the end I had debts on my Visa I couldn’t pay, my parents helped me. No more addictions now on Risperdal.

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