I’m Bored.
I just don’t want to do anything. But I feel the pressure to entertain myself with something.
Today I was waiting on a call from a friend, but he cancelled in the last moment with a stupid excuse.
I’m starting to think that I’m way more social (at times, at least) than I think (or I want to believe) I am.
But the turn of events in my life have made me very misanthropic…
I think I’m more social than think I am coz when I’m home I don’t want to go out, but once I’m out I feel ok to be around people generally. It’s really a contradiction, I don’t want to go but I like it when I am out.
Yeah I think that sz means fear.
And depression makes things even harder.
I’d say I’m pretty social…. Just depends on the day really 
Yeah when I’m feeling it bad, I turn off the phone, lock all doors and windows, and stay in bed, using my PRN’s that don’t really work most of the time.
Im not social. I can be social for about 5-10 min but than my anxiety becomes so intense i want to cry. So i end up having to excuse myself. Even on the phone i get overwhelmed. Today a friend called and i just let it ring until he hung up. I didnt want him to know i didnt want to talk. I figured next time he calls if he asks i can tell him i was napping. Really the only people i can spend extended time with is my husband and kids. But even my husband makes me nervous sometimes, im just better at controlling it with him.
So yeah essentially all of that just boils down to me not being social.
Maybe you would be more social if you didn’t get so anxious?
Oh i definitely think so. Before sz i was extremely social. Bright and chipper at work (i was a relationship banker), had plenty of friends and made time to go out with them, involved in a social club. It was awesome. Now… its just not the same. Im a totally different person. It makes me sad.
I rely too heavily on alcohol to be considered naturally social.
If I’m drinking, the nerves are steady, and I’m able to be funny, outgoing, and fun.
If I’m not drinking, then I’m gritting my teeth getting through the experience until I can’t handle it anymore and leave.
No, I’m totally asocial.
It ruins me…
Problem is that certain people who I like don’t want to be my company…
Others, right now I don’t feel well enough are making me nervous.
You mean you wouls like to be more social?
By social I also mean a 1 by 1 with a friend, chilling in the car listening to music…
1 on 1 is like, even harder sometimes 
It’s true that I require a lot from music to make it work, tho.
I’m not social with people I just meet but I’m kind of social when I feel like it with family members I’m comfortable around
Same, but I’m social with some friends aswell.
Do you feel you would be more social if not for the illness?
No, it’s just like illness is taking you somewhere where only other people can get you out.
Otherwise, I wouldn’t be social at all…
I’m not really social and kind of hide from the world in a way
I’m only social with my family and care team
It doesn’t really bother me because I’ve lived this way for a very long time
What do you mean with music and stuff?
The last time I hung out with someone one on one was back in 2016… 
I’m weird. I only hang up with other musicians, and we usually like to have music in the background. No small talk lol…