It didn’t cross my mind until recently, when I started really listening to myself when talking to people.
Normally I’m a quiet person who spends a lot of time in their own head—it’s usually just me and my thoughts—so I think I’ve grown accustomed to my own negative mindset.
But when I interact with someone I start to wonder, do I sound too negative? Do I seem bitter?
I think about the way my life has gone and the things that have happened and I have good reasons for feeling that way.
I think I’m on a current trajectory toward becoming a bitter man… I’d throw old man into that but that’s dreaming I’ll make it so far…that far… lol.
I think I’m critical and a middle class white male; it’s not an attractive ‘ball of wax’. I must do better, change course, because like you said: [you], nor I, want to be like that.
My mom once said that people in their 60’s become ‘less competitive’.
It reminds me of a lyric from the ‘Sunscreen’ song that came out the year I graduated: i.e.:
‘The race is long, and in the end, it’s only with yourself.’
The ramifications of this talk make me hopeful that I haven’t lost my friends forever… they may revisit the topic of me. This is meant to bring hopefulness to you too, @everhopeful !!
I’ve always believed that the world owes me nothing. Lou Gehrig, the great NY Yankee player, shortly after being diagnosed with what we now call ALS, said: “Today, I consider myself the luckiest man on the face of the earth.” John McCain, WWII war hero and POW for 5 and a half years (who could have been released after 1 year but decided to continue being tortured on a daily basis because all of his fellow POWs were not also allowed release), said days before he died of brain cancer: “I have not been cheated.”
Schizophrenia has put me through hell, but I say I’ve had a wonderful life. No, I’m not bitter.
I’m generally of good cheer unless someone mentions in-laws or immediate family. In my defence, I’ve always believed that one should speak out against true evil.