There is a guy I like and he is super rich… he studied computer science and his dad is a millionaire. We’re not dating, but I guess I don’t want to move on yet. I went to a good private high school where everything in life set you up for success. I thought that was the life I always wanted… to make enough at a upper middle class job to send my kids to the same private school. When I got schizophrenia and knew I’d never make a good living anymore, I still wanted to meet a guy in the upper middle class bracket that I thought I wanted. It’s been 2 years since recovery and I’ve met so many people in Hawaii through mental health. I’ve been in high functioning classes and low functioning classes… I found out one of my friends lives in a group home and dates a drug addict, for example, and seems perfectly happy with it. Some people have it all and others seem to just get bullied black and blue by the system. I don’t want to be a part of all that. It makes me realize I need to stick to my values, the values I learned in high school, and from my current best friend and the kids I met at the high school I coached for, and from the religious and cultural values I have from family. I don’t want to help the poor anymore, I just want to take care of my own life and fulfill my role as a friend, daughter, etc. I kind of feel like I can only be happy dating a guy from the z generation. The brain may want one thing but the heart wants another. I guess I’m rambling but to put it this way, after all my experiences with the have nots in Hawaii lately, I’m realizing that the less I know, the better. It all confuses me but I just want to have a conversation about haves and have nots.
I give away a fair amount of my income to charities. I need to be careful about keeping track of any bills that I have, because that is my first responsibility. It makes me feel good to know that I am doing something good in the world. There is a money issue in my life. If I did get that money I would keep enough to feather my nest, and give the rest away. I would give a good portion of the money to a sport. I know that isn’t altruistic, but I intend to do that. I also like Doctors without Borders. I’ve given money to the Red Cross. I’ve been thinking that I need to remember the Wounded Warriors organization. Lately I’ve been giving my spare money to the Tulsi Gabbard campaign. I know she is a long shot, but a lot can happen between now and the election. A lot of people said it was inconceivable that Trump would get elected.
All I have in accordance with my father s expectations. When I was suffered from mental illness, I comprised with it. Me have not fulfill my own dreams.
I have all that I need such as a job, a car, a place to rent and soon to be girlfriend. What I don’t have is a sane mind that is operating normally all the time. Hallucinations, delusions and paranoia are randomly creeping into my head and at times makes me dysfunctional.
As a schizophrenic, I ought to settle with what I currently have and not what could be or might have been. Live in the present and not in the past.
It’s fine if you feel that way, but try not to advise me on what my expectations should be. I have friends and family watching out for me already. Having my own family one day is what I really want. I’m not struggling right now, but I hate being broke financially, that’s all. I have choices right now, both in my own life and in dating.
That sounds great ! I hope he likes you too 
I’m a “have” and my best and only friend is a “have not”. She has a lot of “things” but what she doesn’t have is money. And that’s her own fault really. In 2027, she’s really going to be a “have not” because her income is going to go down drastically then. And today, she’s doing absolutely nothing about that. I think she expects me to rescue her. And, why should I? If she does nothing to help herself?
A line in a song I like goes “It’s not having what you want, it’s wanting what you’ve got”
I’m not saying that to lecture you, but I took it to heart.
Sure, we all yearn for things to improve our lives.
I wish I had more money. I wish I could find a partner who respects my needs and need-nots.
I wish I had more guts to do more things.
What I do have is a supportive network of great family and friends, a roof over my head, and a life that seems to be (slowly) improving.
But seriously, the partner thing is a real bummer for me. I have some specific needs and wishes, and most people I’ve been with haven’t been able to respect those.
I feel like finding a partner who respects me for who I am, not who I could be, is really, really hard.
I’ll probably end up rescuing my friend in the end anyway. If she wants it.
How are we defining a ‘have’ and ‘have not’ ?
Is this like a ‘need’ vs ‘want’ convo?
A “have” is someone who is financially comfortable. And a “have not” is someone who is financially struggling.
What does it matter that he’s rich besides that more girls are after him. I want someone my bff approves of. I think I share her values but I’m not as smart as her. It doesn’t matter if someone better comes along. I’m also pretty clueless about romance, so the guy has to make the first move. I’m super social, but my heart belongs to my friends and family. In any case, I consider myself a little less lucky than most, but definitely not to the level of people in my low functioning day treatment class… I kind of envy those whose worst problems in their lives are just their finances.
Haves:
I will have a routine coming up if all goes to plan.
Volunteering by November
Going gym with a buddy from next week
I’m pretty chuffed about that since right now I have no ■■■■■■■ routine at all watsoever just stuck in the house with my depressed mother
Not haves
A boyfriend. It’s OK I can manage without. When I come off meds I might go back into that department but I might want an asexual relationship and idk how easy that will be to find
Close friends. I have two friends from education. But I’m too depressed to hang out. One does drugs from time to time and its a bit triggering for me :(((
That could vary from person to person depending on spending habits .
I read somewhere that people across all income brackets are about as happy as all the other brackets except the bracket that’s below the poverty line. So, supposedly, money doesn’t make you happy unless you’re really poor.
I don’t think you really have to choose between what you want and what you have. You can like what you have but still wish things were better. I don’t worry often about things I can do nothing about, generally only things I have control over.
If you don’t mind suggestions, I’d say go for someone who is middle class and fairly healthy and happy. Don’t need to go for upper middle, cause you know, mo’ money, mo’ problems (the person probably has to shoulder more responsibility for that extra money, which means less time with you and your future kids.)
I grew up well below the poverty line, but I went to college and also met and married a man who does well. I am now on disability, but my husband provides for us. He isn’t a doctor, but he’s pretty awesome at taking care of us.