God, I have changed since August.
1 Like
Got ill around 14. I was extremely smart at the time too. Strate Aās, hornors, AP classes artist, athlete, perfect student, i even managed to skip a math class and US history. I was never very good with people but i had my freinds and they were typically top of their class, nice kids. But Schitzophrenia hit me hard. I kept it hidden for a year or so because i know some if the things i wanted to say wouldāve sounded ridiculous to the people i knew before i got ill, but my grades dropped gnarley. I somehow manged to barely pass highschool, but senior year might have been one of the wort years if my life. Until i met my girlfreind of course. I told her about me and she actually (slowley) made me feel better so i decided to give community college a tryā¦ I wasnāt ready. I did everything in my power to get better for school, therapy, meds, i even asked my freinds to keep tabs on me and help, but I guess it wasnāt enough. My girlfriend had to go to college across the state and something about the energy of a class room freaks me out now and i crack under even the slightest amount of pressure. Iād be lieing if i said i didnāt feel like a loser after, but oh wellā¦ At least I actually got alot better. Iām confidant with most things out of school now. I just need to keep moving forward.
1 Like
Iāve had this disease since I was a toddler. I would actually do great at the start of every school year because Iām actually exceptionally intelligent even on a bad day with schizophrenia but that has always been a double edged sword for me since my grades would soon plummet because the courses went way too slow for me so Iād become unable to focus or anything and just stop caring. I canāt get myself to focus on something that takes effort to understand unless it interests me at least a little bit. That and I was always bullied really badly up until high school when I inexplicably became more popular than even the jocks where I could make fun of them and people would actually side with me despite I have no clue what social group I would be classified under, which I guess bullying is said to impact performance in school. I ended up dropping out of high school when I was at the last year of it because I was going to have to go an extra year to complete it and the only choices I had for classes that they offered were ones I donāt think I couldāve tolerated at all because my whole high school time involved picking classes I thought I could most tolerate enough to get through. I wish I wouldāve dropped out when I was 16, which I still wouldāve been probably at the next to last grade since I was put in school a year early anyway and was always the youngest student in my classes through grade school. I say this because I found out after getting my GED it was like the easiest thing in the world to accomplish compared to all the hoops I had to jump through in high school trying to get the diploma and employers donāt seem to distinguish between the two these days since the question asking what piece of paper you have from school lists both on the same check mark option.
I just see myself as nothing but wasted potential because I honestly believe if the school system wasnāt utterly broken I would maybe be inventing scientific methods to alter reality itself as a career with how much potential I probably had.
1 Like
I became very ill my senior year of high school, got hospitalized and diagnosed with schizophrenia. I had to become home bound which is where you go to school at night, only a few people were there and I graduated that way. I couldnāt even walk across stage to get my diploma because I was so ill. I had to quit my job but went on to college and kept the work load very smallā¦Iām not gonna lie it was a huge struggle and felt like giving up at times, did get hospitalized a bunch of times in between, and had to take two semesters off while going to college. But I just graduated actually with two degrees in December and Iām close to ur age Iām 23.
2 Likes
Well itās good to hear someone with this illness was able to accomplish something like that against all odds and I had to get my GED because I wasnāt able to tolerate school any longer and Iām 29 now.
Iāve made notable accomplishments in my life but nothing conventional by far.
1 Like
I had my first major episode at 14, although there were symptoms before that, just wrong diagnoses, i graduated high school early and iāve started college at 30.
1 Like
i graduated from secondary school. I actually did very well in my final year but truly believe now that what I learned was a waste of time. The experience of sz has taught me much moreā¦its the university of life
I became ill even in my school-at the age of 13,14ā¦ I was desperately trying to stay perfect,always to please the othersā¦ I had a bachelor degree without being medicated but there is possibility that I have some other illness than schizophrenia(maybe borderline)ā¦ I couldnāt get a master degree and I am 33 years old :(ā¦ I am quitting my meds now and I hope for the best for the first time in my life 
hey man you said this a long time ago but i just read it, when you say the most stigmatized disorder that helps you function, is that possibly the antisocial tendencies?
Actually no, thatās number two. When I am really pushed against the ropes, I do get a bit cold and āquit playingā, but the aspergers is what really does the trick. I most often pick a book up, donāt stop reading for any reason until the material is read and highlighted, then go and type it up, then memorize that. I get so intense about what I find interesting to me that while studying it, I forget to even pee or drink water, and donāt want to eat.
Antisocial tendencies are more triggered and easy to keep an eye on and act the opposite way towards. I mean I am very conscientious while at the same time quite domineering. I basically dissipate them every morning with a good workout, then go about being a little bit autistic and I frickin learn what I signed up for every day with passion. Itās obsessive how detailed, routine and intense I am about what I choose to do.
And then there is something to noteāthe schizophrenia makes me more creative. I often read material like articles and within that day of reading articles, I come up with a research question, like āwhat does this treatment do with people who are seen as being in group X or group Y?ā These kinds of thoughts come very easily to me and they more like just happen to me, I donāt have to try hard to think of a new question that hasnāt been answered, sometimes hasnāt been asked before at all. I actually write my lesser ideas down and call it āstacking ammoā but I keep the ideas I want to use for a dissertation in my head because theyāre valuable and writing them anywhere at all means they can be stolen.
So yes, but not quite. The most powerful tools I have are rational and obsessive thought (much like other scientists with some level of autism) and then creativity which is mostly due to my thought disorder. But yes, when really against the ropes, I can and do flip a switch and become cold and do what I have to in order to survive. It is important to note that in research and in classes, there are times when people do try to put pressure on you and your work and their motive is to make sure that you can defend yourself against other scientists who donāt want you to get away with not having mastered material or not having truly sound scientific rationale behind your research. Thatās often when I get a little cold but I am not exactly a full blown antisocial at all. Iām more like a socio who feels ashamed of being a socio who is well aware of being a socio who scientifically uses his socio traits only when necessary.
There was a time when I was quite the deviant little rogue crazy guy. I am proud to state that my days of that are behind meāI wasnāt aware of what was wrong back then.
Weāre all ā ā ā ā ā ā up, itās how you manage it and what you do about it that matters.
2 Likes
i got sz when i was in middle school and am still a straight A student. I am taking ap classes and some of campus college classes. I plan on getting a masters degree if all goes well
2 Likes