i’m on disability living allowance and had a lot of gifted savings but it’s all gone
my mum is now living on not very much…
we are in debt but we are downsizing (husband and me)
i have a trust fund when both parents are gone
I feel like i am the only one human i find it difficult to understand anyone
No. But I live in a house across the street from a dilapidated trailer park. They come to my door from the park. There’s lots of other houses too so maybe the people knock on their doors too, I’m not sure. I went to CVS pharmacy and someone from across the street stopped my husband and me and asked for money there too. It’s bizarre.
I find it hard to explain at all
I’m sure it is hard to explain.
What I see is,
You think you’re superior to everyone because of your upbringing,
Yet you’re on disability and don’t have a lot of money?
Is that what’s going on?
i envy the connection to all of humanity
What connection?
I don’t feel connected to humanity,
I doubt many people here do.
Humanity is confusing and difficult to feel at one with.
Do you think poor people have more of a connection?
They don’t.
I don’t know what i think about at all
I just don’t want to be judged and ostracised before i can adjust my attitudes to reality
I’m isolated and afraid and pontificating
I was going to the gym a lot and cooking and shopping and going about wanting to be very fit again
then my mum was hit by a car in front of me and her one leg broke in half above the ankle
she can just about walk 9 months later
she had DVT and pulmonary embolism
she needed round the clock care which my sister was capable of providing her with more than me even though she was abused so much by a guy who now has a restraining order against her. !!
as if he is the victim - living in a one bed flat with my mum for 5 years
I also had their new puppy and 2 cats to take care of at my place while my man was on a course only back at weekends and needed feeding and washing clothes etc
Since then i haven’t had the will to do anything
my sister has been back at the magistrates for breaking her restraining order
she just had a barrister appt for going to Crown court and has been deemed unfit to stand trial and is probably going to have some treatment
they have been living like that for 5 years
stress came down on me this week
i did one other reply above
Does the fact that you are in debt not mean you can stop worrying about the fact that money makes you feel misguided?
I wish i was a Godzillianaire 
What did your dad do for a living?
partner in price waterhouse coopers
i feel i will judge people and look at them wrong
then they could react to that
i don’t think everyone is slow to judge and willing to work through a bad look or a hostile panic
That’s a paranoia thing mostly, I used to do the same thing. If your mental health improves like myne you would feel a lot more comfortable around those situations. If you think you are misjudging people that is just something personal you have to work on.
Money making me feel misguided is a great way to put it
Thank you
Partners at PWC do quite good but there are a lot of people with more money than your dad. Having had money doesn’t make you anything but someone who had money. I know and have known people with much more wealth and they are unassuming decent people. Looking down on people because you have money and they don’t is shallow and weak and shows you don’t value what matters
I have a fear of reaping what i have sown
Also an insecurity or fear of revolution of the masses like in the french revolution
my mum gave money to a homeless guy and let him sleep on the grounds
He brutally raped my mum in front of my 3 year old sister
My father’s influence was insidious and quite evil
Rape violence for my 2 sisters relationships and at home psychological sadism
Was my family
Massive excuses?
Computer engineering was his focus.
He developed software to operate machines to manufacture products.
juggernaut
maybe it’s more about appearances, thinness, envy of people with things like that and of people who have achievement as a human being who is capable of loving everyone all rolled into one
my sponsor is wealthy but spiritual and realistic.
in hospital i had a folie a deux with a homeless man, i picked dirt from under his nails and wanted to wash his feet and get him well so that we could live together we thought we were husband and wife
he was aggressive and catatonic and we both did word salad together and shared everything for weeks
i know this is just as bad as saying my best friends ever have been people of colour which is also the truth and another even more massive hang up like my racism and being hounded out of town for being a racist
in a city where my blood boils if i see kids shouting abuse at a guy of a different skin tone walking across the road
People just knock on your door and ask for money? Damn that’s tacky.