My sis met a guy online who she really likes but thinks he has Asperger’s syndrome. He’s a really sweet guy but she doesn’t always know how to communicate
Mr. Star has mild autism, and if he was diagnosed as a child instead of an adult he would probably have been diagnosed with Asperger’s instead.
They definitely communicate differently, but once you get used to it, it is actually much easier and more straightforward. If you want someone with autism to understand your feelings, you just have to spell it out for them. If I am sad, I don’t pout and then wait for Mr. Star to ask what is wrong. I tell him “I am sad because you did this thing and it made me feel like like you didn’t care.” And then he can understand and explain what he meant when he did the thing, and reassure me that he does care and his hurtful behavior was unintentional.
It did take a long time to learn this. In the beginning I would use social cues and try to parse his words for hidden meanings like how most people communicate. And it just did NOT work for him. He says what he means, for better or worse.
These are from my ADOS 2 .
- I picked up on conversational cues to expand on answers , but the responses provided few leads for the assessor .
2)I didn’t provide many non-routine events .
Speech had little inflexion or musicality. Can increase in volume when passionate about a topic .
Didn’t display any curiosity in the assessor.
5)Nor ask for more information when given some obvious verbal prompts .
The qualities of social responses were awkward at times .
Used social overtures but they were mainly related to own interests.
Yes me 15151515
That is how it is done, thank you. Mrs. Squirrel still thinks that dropping hints and getting miffed when I miss them works. I eventually pick up on the body language and it’s, “now what am I in hot water for?” If it’s worth saying, say it. Or don’t. Subtlety is for neurotypicals.
It took a while. And he has also learned some of my body language, in a very formulaic way that I never even knew I did. Like, “oh you just exhaled while biting your lip and looking to the left, you are anxious, aren’t you?” And like, even I won’t realize I’m anxious until he says that. He may not be good at reading social cues, but damn is he ever an expert on when I am having a bad mental health day!
I always got irritated when he would ask that, because then I felt like I had to justify my feelings. That is how I learned to just state them up front.
I remember the first time we had physical intimacy, I was feeling insecure afterwards. And instead of just sitting on that feeling, I realized I needed to tell him, because otherwise he would have no idea and then I would get mad at him. So I told him, “we just did some things that bring up insecurities for me. Over the next few days, you’ll need to spend extra time reassuring me that you love me, and weren’t just using me for sex.” And I swear it was an ephiphany moment for him, where he realized why all his previous attempts at a relationship went badly before. Nobody ever told him that he needed to treat a partner differently afterwards.
I told my wife that while I found the sex agreeable, I found her company agreeable as well when we weren’t having sex. I figure that’s a high compliment.
I was watching this netflix series called Atypical but I dont knlw how accurate this is… also I was dating online and came across a guy who had it… never met him but he clearly did not like me i wish i understood where he was coming from then
Yeah, we’re all faking the condition and think that supernatural forces keep neurotypicals from seeing the world properly.
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I found dating especially hard.
If I ever meet someone I would want to spend a few weeks chatting, and then go somewhere low key for a walk.
I am not sure if I could do a restaurant meal on a date as this might overload me.
I like things gradual.
If I was to meet someone they’d need to understand this upfront.
A lot of people take time to adjust to new people in their lives
Yes my partner has aspergers.
Tell her to grab him now with both hands
Never met such a thoughtful beautiful kind trustworthy honest hard working funny easy company guy ever before as my husband
Could never have 10 yrs of marriage with any of the other 50
I have Asperger too
He is more non verbal than most but a hug and being given a cat when you’re down is good enough
Intimacy was always a problem for me . It was a combination of things- a libido that wasn’t very strong, not having the natural aptitude for making love that many have, and lastly a big case of performance anxiety after a failed 1st attempt before meeting my wife.
Absolutely!!! That’s a big deal for women
Its so strange seeing so many people with both autism and schizophrenia. I had a dr tell me i didnt have autism because schizophrenia was the “less complicated answer” than having both disorders at once.