Hi friends.. been awhile since i posted… Semester in college is starting soon.and all that.. my family member is pushing me to study… But i always get that voice that says not to go.. im sure someone has had that as well.. Honestly dont want to study anyway.. anyone got any related advice?
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Hi,
If you want to study toward your degree, don’t let illness get in your way. Voices will be voices, if you can’t shut them off completely with an AP, at least try your best to ignore their nonsense.
I was fully psychotic through my nursing degree. I had no insight and the apartment I lived in while doing my internship was in the ghetto. I had rusty water out of my faucet and lots of mice. Every night mice. I slept in my car sometimes because I thought there were cameras all in my apartment. I was a nurse for 3 Months after graduating before going to the psych ward. I worked nuclear medicine on the weekends and once a month drove 3 hours to stay at my moms one weekend a month to take care of her bills and to take her shopping. I saved $68,000 to live on while in school. I also took out $25,000 in loans. I just paid the loan of this year. If I knew I had schz I would’ve just went to my mom’s and try to get on disability and save that money. I was psychotic before school. But I thought I was just overanalyzing every detail and I thought I was delusional and seeing hallucinations from no sleep for years. I paid the price. I forgot 80 percent of what I learned because it was all pump and dump for tests. It added no meaning to my life. Only suffering. I wouldn’t do it again. I derive more meaning reading philosophy books on my free time. I walk a fine line between irrational and rational but now I know it’s the schz. My dad had schz too so it was always a fear in the back of my mind. But I thought I was too smart to get schz. I thought I could think my way out of it. Despite that I still was unable to recognize schz in myself. Weigh the costs and the benefits that’s all I’m saying. If life is gravy for you and doesn’t bother you then keep on keeping on. Good things.
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I found online courses suited me. I could sit in the comfort of my own home and do the required reading and do the work, no distractions. I finished up my degree in 2022 after starting college in 1985.
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I went to University unwell, withdrew after completing year1 and got treatment. If your already on APs and the medical people know then there shouldn’t be any issue with you studying.
Wow Nick! I take a long 15 months of college at home. Online too. At least you finished!
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