Another thought

I feel great when I leave the house. I go for a walk or a drive and it feels awesome.

When I come home I feel like ■■■■, my mood goes down and I just feel depressed.

Why is this?

Its probably because you don’t get along with your father,

That tension makes you uncomfortable at home.

You live with him, right?

But he’s not home during the day, and the neighbours are.

It’s like I can feel their presence through walls. I dont know

Maybe I’m just a bit crazy and I don’t know what’s going on in my head. Or maybe I was agoraphobic for a long time (I still kind of am)

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Another thing is, I remember one time when no one was home and the neighbours weren’t home. I was watching YouTube and I started feeling dizzy. I came up stairs and saw that the neighbours were home. Maybe it was just a crazy coincidence or something.

Sorry in advance, I type/talk too much!

I also get fairly odd changes in my mental state living around so many people… but when I am with a person, and ONLY with a person, that I feel SUPER comfortable around, it’s like all of that vanishes.

Then when my mother gets home, it just shifts the tone… Perhaps it’s because both of us are kinda tired of each other, a bit? She MUST be tired of dealing with my symptoms and helping out with ALL of these many, many medical appointments, picking up meds, when she’s already SO tired, and SWAMPED with work… especially the symptoms piled on top of that…

On my side, when I’m NOT suffering from many symptoms in that moment, I go up to her and try to engage her in conversation and such, and she’s still irritated about a previous moment of weirdness and STILL WORKING on her OWN stuff…

Maybe our vibes are mixing up (including the neighbors, not just my mum) and we have a bunch of unconscious stuff bottled up? I know the whole “vibes” thing is kinda New Agey…

But I DO feel weirdness from the neighbors when it’s just me AND when it’s just Mom and me…

Maybe something like that is going on with your father?

The only thing that seems to shield me from feeling that (whether it’s vibes being exchanged OR just something going on inside my own head… still feels that way!) is being with a friend I’m very comfortable around. Of which I have ONE, and maybe a second (though he’s always working, we might hang soon), that live nearby.

Even being on voice-chat with another friend I have online seems to REALLY help.

Maybe having company over (if your father is okay with it) or doing some voice chat with some folks?
If you play online video games, could join a guild that uses Discord for chat, some really relaxed, casual guild, and that group chat might occupy your mind?

Too much typing!

Anyway, maybe that will work to make you comfortable.

Or music in earbuds? Seems more effective at improving my vibe than listening on speakers, especially when I’m not alone at home.

Cheers, @DNA !!

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I think I just have severe psychosis. I experience crawling sensations in my fingers, which no one ever has. My pdoc never even heard of such a symptom.

It sounds like it may be from the vibes whether ‘real or not real’ that u get from ur neighbours.

Wen I was psychotic I used to hear people thru the walls my family actually it was so awful. I am glad to not hear that anymore. Cos it wasn’t even sounding like their personalities although it was their voices

Can you elaborate @anon90843118 ?

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I saw in another thread that you feel like they may be stalking you? Because of them entering or leaving often at the same time as you. That does sound freaky. And would make me feel uncomfortable living next to them. But tbh I agree with those that said this is most likely your overactive mind playing up. I’m sorry that u feel like this since I cn imagine that it feels real like stalking or something. Did u ever talk to them?

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Yes, I greet them whenever and if I see them. I meant, can you elaborate on your experience with “vibes” and hearing them talking through walls? How did you make it go away?

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It just felt like I wasn’t even living with my family wen I was psychotic n in my bedroom cos I’d hear them chatting through the walls in some disturbing way. It was very clearly their voices BUT the stuff they were saying included jibber ish and not really in tune with their personalities. If I had to guess what made it go away after like one month at least, was consistently taking my med and not doing things that I think may have aggravated it for me personally eg. alcohol. I used to drink heavily sometimes before n just before psychosis

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I can relate, i used to be like that before i started practicing exposure therapy. It still bothers me though.

Thanks for sharing @anon90843118

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No probs. I’m sorry to hear that you could relate to this. Hope it gets better for u if it still bothers you somewhat. Time could heal.
What is exposure therapy

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It’s for people suffering from anxiety and agoraphobia.

It means to “face your fears” more or less and “expose” yourself to things you wouldn’t normally do. I.e going outside, going to group therapy etc.

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