Anger and persecution

Unusual Beliefs
1

So… more often than I’d like to admit, I get furious at my partner. It starts out normal enough, a little irritation. It soon escalates into something I cant understand. A completely benign remark - not even a mean remark - can lead me into believing, delusionally, that my partner is against me or trying to control me and that I’m right no matter what. I get scared so instead of shutting down like I always used to with previous partners, I instead lash out and become abuse, calling him names and even self-destructive acts. Depending on the situation, I somtimes regress into a childlike state, cover my ears and rock back and forth.

Now, he’s the sweetest guy and has never done anything to me, not even yell. He’s supported me through my diagnosis and helped me in so many ways. It scares me that I get this way. Ive listened to recordings - yeah they became necessary - and I’m astounded at how I’m acting.

So, I guess what I’m trying to ask, is this a normal part of schizophrenia? Do any of you have these issues, and if so, what helps? I’m desperate to stop hurting him but Ive failed again and again.

Sorry for the longer post. Any advice would be greatly appreciated.

1 Like
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@VALIS

Hi.

I don’t think it’s schizophrenia, per se, but a break down in communication. Every day has situations in which we have to resolve, so that requires being assertive (standing up for your rights while respecting the rights of others). However, if we’re passive (we don’t stand up for our rights and simply ‘stuff’ our feelings) or passive-aggressive (same as passive, but with revenge) or aggressive (we can no longer ‘stuff’ our feelings and stand up for our rights without respecting other’s rights), we’re a ticking time bomb .

I recommend that when situations arise you need to resolve them assertively.