An apology

I’m sorry for the outburst yesterday. I went all manic, didn’t know what I’m doing. I just keep believing the world is not real and there is someone who knows everything about me and is messing around with me. I keep believing pills are made to dumb me down, I don’t trust my doctor. It feels so real. So many coincidences it is not possible. It’s just going on for such a long time. I cannot endure this anymore. Everyone seems to be doing better than me. How do you handle all this?

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I needed to go on a higher dose of meds. I’m now on the max dose of Invega and doing better.

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I guess dealing with some aspects get better over time. But i could never make sense of how any of that strange world was possible.

I would like the idea that the more you go through the stronger you get. But in that strength there is a brittleness. Or rather the strength clouds who you were

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It gets easier as time goes on. You start to be able to reason your way into asking for help, rather than going right to the point of no return. We tend to help each other with that. When I first joined here, I was a total mess. Folks here helped me learn how to recognize warning signs and report to my doc before things got to crisis levels.

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As for the apology, don’t worry about anyone holding a grudge here. We have all had our moments, and we have all posted things we later regret. We tend not to hold it against each other, because we know this illness sometimes makes us all act a bit unusual.

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I seem to share some of your beliefs minus the paranoia. Sometimes they really hurt me, but instead of trying to crash those beliefs completely I find it more useful to increasingly compartmentalise them until they have little or no impact in my daily life.

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Hi, I snapped yesterday so your not alone
I also have troubles so don’t worry we all do to some extent

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I’m sorry this happened to you. Message me if you want to talk about it.

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Thanks @Kirila
Maybe another time I’ve just been asleep 6 hours and still tired

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It’s ok @Kirila
I’ve said things I regretted when manic.
This forum doesn’t hold grudges like @ninjastar said.

Again, welcome to the forum.

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I went through rough patches too. I just chose to trust the pills and the “me” I used to be before this illness. And it worked. I no longer have positive symptoms and my mind is usually at peace. I still have negatives unfortunately…

What is happening with you? What sounds real?

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