Am I the only one?

I seem to be able to triggers symptoms just by thinking if I am experiencing them. I can go awhile without a hallucination but as soon as I ponder if I have heard anything lately I immediately get one.

If I think to myself anything about sleep I will have a hard time falling asleep. If I think to myself I will not wake up and have any food in the middle of the night, I wake up hungry.

If I think to myself I am not disorganized I suddenly get disorganized.

If I exaggerate my symptoms I suddenly within a day or two get to that level of exaggeration.

I can trigger itchiness on my body just by thinking about it. Racing thoughts by just thinking about it, intrusive negative thoughts by thinking about it. I believe I have heard something like this occurring in other people like myself but not to the extent of which it happens to me.

When I do not have analytical insightful thoughts I feel completely fine and healthy as if I do not suffer from this horrible disease called schizophrenia.

Does any of this happen to you guys?

I can induce a lot of anxiety in myself, and my anxiety can spur on a lot of different symptoms. So in a way I can vicariously induce some symptoms by first inducing anxiety. Obsessively thinking about things is one way that can happen.

Another way it can play out is that I disassociate from certain symptoms that have been happening, and when the disassociation breaks, it can seem like what happened is that I suddenly thought about it and then it happened, when in reality my awareness of it is all that happened. A combination of trauma mechanisms and psychotic illness is quite the adventure.

Other times my mind just tricks itself into thinking that I prophesied something when I didn’t.

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My brother is capable of creating symptoms in certain areas of his brain as well as shifting sz symptoms from one area to another in order to help him to function.

I have triggers due to the trauma of breaks with self and psyche. I at one point used to tell certain people I had “more triggers than an arsenal half of which I don’t even know” just upfront like as a forewarning, but that was my mid 20’s, my cowboy days I guess I’ll say.

I do though, even thinking of what I’ve been through the past couple of years during my episodes the likes of which if I’d experienced I didn’t remember. I basically don’t even give any of this a thought as even thinking back to these times is a trigger enough. I just leave evil enough alone and don’t go back there in my mind. Imagine being lucky to get an hour’s sleep a night for four months straight and spending the days pacing back and forth until nightfall, trying for naught to watch tv which would go from getting HBO to getting 3 channels and having to sleep in a bed that reaked of dead fish. Everyday I lived as if it was my last and when I finally begged for it to end the next day the police chief showed up and I faced an unknown which could have been anything, everyday as if it were my last and on that day I didn’t know that it wasn’t going that way. Luckily I checked in willingly having been brought against my will.

I have no set triggers myself, almost anything can set me on the road to an episode…last time it was seeing a dog running loose with no collar, I just started crying and freaking out about my dead GF, no association between the trigger and the subject of the episode…

But I can get some symptoms by thinking of them…if I think about being depressed I get tired and depressed…

I kind of get the opposite? I mean i understand the magical thinking aspect of this – the superstition of it: “if i think about x, it will happen! o noes!” – but i have the inverse: i’ll start thinking i am doing better, only to be brought face to face with how badly i’m doing, and then spiral downward into shame and fear, etc.

for example i’ll be at the bus stop and i’ll think “wow, no paranoia today, and i’ve been out for almost three hours, that’s pretty good!”… and then i’ll think someone at the bus stop is talking about me, laughing about me, and i’ll be on edge and agitated until i get home

or i’ll be eating lunch and think to myself “hey, i’m not having one of my ‘off’ days where i can’t eat or where everything smells bad! yay me!”… and then… boom. food smells / tastes like garbage, can’t eat, don’t want to eat anymore, no matter how hungry i am.

i jinx myself. but i think it’s psychosomatic – triggering a negative reaction that mimics a symptom just by thinking well of myself, rather than experiencing an actual symptom. but that doesn’t stop it from happening!

Maybe you could think of some kind of low stress activity to distract you, like maybe a computer game, or cleaning the house, or reading. Try to relax and not dwell on negatives.