I am calm and at peace most of the time. I want for nothing. My family loves me and supports me. I don’t have to fear going without food or shelter. My mind is clear most of the time and allows me to live in the moment the vast majority of my waking hours. Even my body is now looking healthy.
Despite all of that the absence of a social life in my life gets to me to the point that I can’t actually appreciate anything beyond the sterile knowledge that I do appreciate it and would miss seeing it go. I feel like I’m missing the one piece I need to be able to appreciate the rest but even if that were true and having a social life and a partner to share my life with would allow me to appreciate the rest of the good things I am already blessed with. How does that change the fact that without that one thing I am finding myself to be an ungrateful little sh*t? Am I human and we are social creatures and I ain’t getting one of my basic needs met and that justifies me somehow in my underappreciation or am I really just ungrateful? I can’t seem to make up my mind about it. Either way I wish I could be more grateful for what I have, especially since it’s not going to last forever.
Like you said, we are social creatures. Having peers and a partner is a massive aspect of our lives. I dont blame you for neglecting to appreciate the other stuff because if it. Dont let the thought that you are ungrateful bring you down further.
May I suggest finding a hobby to go deep into and then hanging out with people who are into the same? It is what keeps me from dancing in the middle of busy intersections.
Im finding myself yearning for the things I dont have too lately but I should be very content I have more the most people and the grass isnt always greener on the other side
I am 54 and still get excited about maybe coming into contact with someone and forming a relationship or marriage. I have companionship with my parents and food and shelter. I personally think I am suffering from addiction to pornography and lust. I have a lot of love in my life. I love my family and hobbies. If I need more social interaction it is for motivation to keep up with life. I have bad hygiene and am not keeping up with our house.
If I died right now I would die happy and with the faith and love I always wanted. I am not lonely because of my faith. I am in a good place now and will only accept more socializing for love and heath. Not to share lust and unhealthy addictions.