Always think of my dogs I used to have when I can't sleep

My poor dogs I had when I was delusional met bad fates because I had to give them up while I was in the ward…to make things worse…I treated one of my dogs, a besenji, cruelly because I thought he was a demon…I just tied him up in the back yard with food and water but at the time I did it, my besenji was very used to being with me all the time and he would cry in his besenji way to be let free…at one time I was at the kitchen window where my besenji could see me and he shrieked an awful yell…and I remember laughing at him under my breath…that’s when I start crying…

I too lost my beloved dog during my psychosis… his name was Blue and he was a teacup Yorkshire Terrier!

I had to Goto jail and the police took him to the shelter when I was gone… it was too late when I went to look for him after I got out in San Francisco, and was adopted…

I really miss him at times, and reminisce the good moments I was with him, I do hope he is in better family, for I was not able to take care of him at the time… I always prey that he is happy! And that’s all we can do now Jukebox.

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I always think of the time when I had to throw him over the bushes, and the way he looked at me when I was getting arrested

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I’m sure they forgive you where they are at the moment.

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@Abise I am sorry this happened to you…I will never forgive myself I guess that’s why I always cry when I am trying to go to sleep…it haunts me.

It’s not your fault, you couldn’t help it. It was illness.

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the thing that gets me is that even though I was ill how could I have tied up my beloved dog like that??? oh well, I guess you’re right…I do carry heavy regret even though it wasn’t my fault…

Yeah… I do with my dog also. I am seeking to get another dog once I’m settled getting a job and all… I was really happy with him

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