All of a sudden

I remembered the fullnames of 50 or so old school classmates of mine last night.
I always thought I didn’t remember much from school days.
My school memories were blurry. School was hard for me.
But all of a sudden. So clearly. 50 peoples names. Boys and girls.
Is it part of recovery? Does my brain finally start to function properly?
I just wondered why.

My interpretation is that I’ve become strong enough to look back at the times when things were tough.
I feel the clouds in my head have finally started to disappear.
This makes me feel good.
Just wanted to share…


Good for you. Hope those clouds vaporize.

congratulations on that. I hope your fog forest is going away.

I picture my memory in jars on a lazy susan, spinning by. When the spinning slows, I can get that memory off the wheel. but most the time, what I want just passed me by and I have to wait for it to come around again.


i am really happy for you.
take care

Sounds like progress, good for you! My brain got fried by the pot and alcohol and psychosis during my senior year of high school and freshman year of college, I have trouble remembering parts those times, mainly what I learned. I looked at some AP English essay I had in a spiral in my room and was like “Who the hell wrote this?”

My cognitive problems are slight, I mainly forget to do things and repeat myself, and meds have made a pretty significant improvement. I still tell people the same story two or three times in one day or night, I am told.

My IQ is rock solid though. Funny how intelligence can be pretty high despite not being with it in some regards. A bunch of us took an IQ test and posted our scores, I was in disbelief of the results, mine included until a shared it on facebook and a normal person (who is evidently fairly bright) scored a couple standard deviations lower than the brightest poster here. My psychologist says that paranoid schizophrenics are almost always highly intelligent. Some of the people on here are in the “exceptionally gifted” range, I am in the “superior intelligence” range.

But I still make stupid mistakes and have memory and attention problems, my family tests my multitasking and memory and they say they’re both broken, so obviously IQ isn’t everything.

I forget to do things I am supposed to do or bring things with me when I go somewhere unless I double check. Like often while training I forget how many sets I have done or where I put my stuff or I will forget to take weights off the bar and just walk away like an ■■■■■■■.