So there were like seven or eight of us at my house, a bunch of genius kids from the prestigious school. We all smoked weed in my backyard. We then became as idle as patients in a psych ward. I mean like just staring at the computer screen listening to Sublime, one of my friends (the salutatorian) started to laugh and I noticed he had an obvious boner in his skinny jeans, I pointed it out and he just laughed and my friends laughed, half of the squad was on the back porch, one of my friends who is now in dental school was staring at a tree saying how he was thinking of physics equations of the tree branches, and I went back into my room with the computer and sound system where said salutatorian or whatever smart kid was then writing poetry, and the rest of the squad in my room was having a conversation about lunch in a sort of stupor, which concluded in deciding to change the playlist, which took us half an hour to remember to do.
Said dental school friend took to hard of a bong hit and then ran inside, grabbed a gallon of milk and took it outside and squatted on the stairs of the back porch chugging the milk from the gallon.
I think we all came down and finally ordered a pizza, I don’t remember. There were other characters involved but they mainly just laughed and zoned out listening to music or smoked cigs on the back porch.
I had this odd thing where when I got high, I would go look at cool pictures on imgur, and it’s mostly nature pictures and animals and crap but sometimes a really hot picture of a celebrity. I remember Emma Watson popped up on it and I was like “whoa guys you have to see this” and they were like “wow.”
It was fun until I became psychotic. I did it very moderately like once a week, then I became psychotic and started doing it every day.
I never got the “giggles” while smoking MJ before (granted I only tried it twice). I was always disappointed that other people seemed to laugh at anything while smoking MJ but I’d just eat until I was on the verge puking.
My friends and I would engage in criminal activities while we were high like in the show jackass. Those were the days. I won’t even speak about some of the stuff I’ve done, but it was a real sense of freedom in a way and rebellious against society. Smoking pot, cigs, drinking, getting into fights with each other (body blows only), hanging out with hot chicks, sneaking out in the middle of the night and going on joy rides (friend’s parents car).
Getting high were the best times of my life, before it got bad…
Good times included driving around, ordering McDonald’s drive thru, trying to order but once hearing the man’s funny accent and imagining him in a turban, we’d drive off cuz we couldn’t handle how funny the situation was.
We would turn on foreign radio stations where they had a conversation in a different language and pretend we’re talking for them - and it would feel like we’re doing it so well, perfectly synchronized.
Sitting at a dark staircase outside while camping, imagining it going on forever. At a beach the water reflecting the stars looked like ice. And the feelings I’d get while high were magical really. Lack of inhibition and being able to think abstractly and at the same time very creatively and often hilariously, all while being at peace and connecting based on these ideas with friends was beyond awesome.
Once anxiety came into my life (pro-dromal period), highs started to become more and more like trying desperately to get back to a good place, like a lure that sucks you into a confusing psychadelic trip, feeling like I’m breaking emotional bubble barriers and having realization after realization about random ideas that seemed connected to my life and past with the strong hope that I’ll get back to the good high feeling again. I never did though.
Giving it up was necessary because the trips were chaotic and breaking me from reality… I still became psychotic though after stopping weed.
The high is just not worth the risk for us. Sometimes I think I developed the illness because otherwise, I’d be getting high all the time and chasing those feelings while completely not taking my life seriously in other important ways.