…and the bartender steps up to them and asks:
“Are you guys related?”
“Both of you look really spaced out.” 
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Not bad.
And the robot walks in and says loudly, “Danger, Will Robinson! Danger! Danger! And gimmee a Dos Equis!”
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Don’t know who that is, but I suppose others will get it!
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IDK. It was either that or a quote by “My Favorite Martian.”
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So a penguin was eating a vanilla while his mechanic was checking over his car.
The mechanic finally said, “hmm…looks like you’ve blown a seal.”
The penguin said, “hey screw you…it’s ice cream!”
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I was about to eat from a box of animal crackers, but it said…
“Do not eat if the Seal is broken.”
Being unsure, I still haven’t opened the box.
(rim shot)
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One time I was at my parents place we were just chatting after dinner.
I think they asked me if I would come on a trip with then to visit relatives.
I stared off towards the wall for like 5 seconds ,nodded my head then said “yeah they said it was ok”. As if I was checking in with my voices.
Then I said “just kidding”!
Lol it was a good prank they laughed and said it’s good I can make light of my illness.
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A schizophrenic man walks in a pyschiatrist’s office and sits down.
The psychiatrist asks “so what have you been up to lately?”
The schizophrenic man replies “ohhh just making toy cars out of my own shits and running around screaming that I’m the Messiah.”
The psychiatrist looks at the man for a few seconds then says “well… It sounds like the meds are working great! See you again in a few months?”
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But no one can tell which is which.
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A schizophrenic martian walks into a bar. He snaps a picture of the whole interior and says, “The boys at home are gonna have to believe I saw aliens this time.”
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I was driving yesterday when the car in front of me stopped suddenly. I hit the brakes but was a little late and hit the car in front. We pulled over and the driver got out, it was a dwarf!
He came over to me and gave me a stern look an said ‘I’m not happy!’. I replied ‘Well, which one are you then?’
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Do you know what 50 Cent did when he got hungry?
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Why does snoop dogg carry an umbrella?
For drizzle
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