In fact, I don’t really know what is my diagnosis. This is really a mess. I have been first diagnosed with panick attacks and then with depression. Then I have been diagnosed as a schizoid by another psychiatrist. Then another psychiatrist said I was not and diagnosed me with psychosis. Then another psychiatrist told me that I have not psychosis and I have rather a somatic symptoms disorder (which is an extremely rare disorder that is close to schizophrenia and psychosis). Who should I believe, who should I trust? Who is wrong, who is right?
The somatic symptoms disorder make sense but it is written everywhere on the web that it couldn’t be treated with medication. Well I am treated successfully with medication!
The only thing I know is that I’m taking an antipsychotic that is saving my life, an antidepressant, a benzo and if I don’t take these medications (especially the antipsychotic) I get a lot of ups and rapid changes with my mood, more importantly I can’t stop my brain from going too fast (really rapid thinking that make me a lot tired and that I cannot stop), and I have severe physical symptoms that have no real cause. Also my twin brother is schizophrenic and my sister had psychosis.
One psychiatrist told me that my physical symptoms were a kind of hallucinations, and another psychiatrist told me that it is not hallucinations.
My current psychiatrist never really told me what is her diagnosis. I’m not sure she really know. I’m going to ask her in September but whatever she will say to me, how could I know that’s it’s right with all the diagnosis that I got in the past and all the contradictions there were between all the psychiatrists I saw?
I don’t have to complain so much since the situation is under control and I’m relatively healthy but I wish everything was clear and that I knew what I really have.
Loss of function is the key! If it bites into your life and your not dealing with it then chances are you need some medications.
Diagnosis often changes early…that is the nature of the beast…Most important is taking the pills especially if they work…and often that means six weeks mimimum!
Hang in there. Take the pills. A good shrink will sort it all out but if antipsychotics are helping that is probably a good clue!
Somatic symptom disorder is not very rare, and more importantly, it’s very common among people with mental health issues, so you could have both that and another disorder. I would be skeptical of classifying physical symptoms as hallucinations. First of all because having many different hallucinations that are all tactile is not very common (I’ve never read about it on this site), and also because they might make better sense under the somatic symptom disorder umbrella, which is a lot more common than schizophrenia. Make sure your therapist has taken this into consideration if they have diagnosed you. Also, the symptoms you described do not sound like schizophrenia or psychosis. They sound like bipolar spectrum symptoms or BPD. Do you have any symptoms that are indicative of psychosis (apart from the physical symptoms)? It would be a good idea to ask your therapist questions like this. Ask them what your diagnosis is, what symptoms you have that are indicative of that diagnosis, and what any other symptoms that are affecting you a lot could be. If you think any of their reasons sound strange, don’t be afraid to discuss that with them.
PS: We can’t diagnose you here, but we can help you ask your pdoc/therapist the right questions.
I’m confused about my diagnosis too. When I first met w my psych APN she told me I had major depression w psychotic features and ptsd. Later when I was put into PHP she said my diagnosis was just major depression w psychotic features as if she had forgotten the ptsd part! Then the pdoc at PHP said he thought I was schizoaffective. And later my APN tells me she thinks I have mania/hypomania…
So I guess diagnoses are just really confusing and we should let the doctors worry about those. We need to be making sure we get the right treatment is all.
It might be helpful to write down a list of all current and past symptoms. I’m not sure if you’re getting enough time with your drs for them to fully understand you, could be wrong. But I feel that if they have all your symptoms they should be able to get 1 or more possible dx. Worth a shot
I have never experienced any kind of hallucinations I think. And I never had any irrational thinking.
When I was sick, my main problem was the severe physical symptoms.
I have also noticed, like I previously said, that my brain activity was extremely fast. I couldn’t slow down my brain at all, even when I was doing nothing. I couldn’t stop it. And the most simple activity, like just watching the TV or listening to music, was making my brain running so fast that I was exhausted after less then 30 min, as if I have been playing chess for hours. It’s as if my brain could only run at full speed. Does one of you have ever experienced that? I’m almost 100% sure this is the root of my problem but I don’t know to what diagnosis it could be related. The antipsychotic helped me by slowing down my brain.
Before becoming sick, I have been studying computer science for years. I remember that I could create complex algorithms at an incredible speed. So my brain was already running too much fast. The other students used to tell me that I was like a machine. I believe that studying software development, working with complex algorithms during all the day, didn’t help me at all and maybe that it triggered the sickness, because I was encouraging my brain to function at the fastest speed possible.
I think that it is possible that my physical symptoms were just a consequence of severe brain exhaustion.
What do you think about everything I said? Does anything I said make any sense?
What about racing thoughts? I remember very well having extreme racing thoughts just before my major breakdown. What does that means? I was unable to stop my brain activity and it was really painful. I couldn’t stand it anymore. I wanted it to stop. It was not irrational thinking and hallucinations. It was just extremely fast non stop thinking about anything.
What does it means when having so much racing thoughts provoke a breakdown and when only an antipsychotic help you by stoping the thoughts and by slowing down your brain?! What illness do you have then?
If I have no psychosis or hallucinations, then what do I have? I’m not seeking a diagnosis here but just some clues. I don’t feel my psychiatrist is so much interested by explaining everything or by identifying a diagnosis.
But I wanna know exactly what I have. When you take so much medications and when you lost 12 years, you wanna know why and what you have.
You all have a diagnosis but not me… ️ My only hope to find what I have is by finding it by myself.
How is it possible that I met so many psychiatrists and I still don’t know what I have!
That is a clue that you might have bipolar disorder. It could also be BPD, but antipsychotics normally don’t work so well for that. They do, however, work for bipolar disorder moods. Maybe you should ask your psychiatrist about bipolar disorder? It could be other things too, I’m sure, but if I were you, I’d want them to find out if I had bipolar.
When I was sick, I have seen a psychologist several times and he was thinking that I have cyclothymic disorder, which is a mood disorder. He wanted me to see a psychiatrist for that but my doctor didn’t agree to let me see one.
Several years later, when I met my psychiatrist the first time at the emergency, I talked to her about everything, about cyclothymia, about having an hyperactive brain, but she didn’t react so much to that. She said I have not bipolarity. I don’t know why she didn’t explain my hyperactive brain and the fact that just watching the TV for 30 min make me totally drained.
I remember when I was a child and a teen, I used to feel often euphoric and I was constantly crying for almost no reason at all. I remember my teachers in primary school worrying about that, meeting me in private at the end of the day and asking me why I was crying for no reason. Of course I couldn’t answer the question. I just remember that a banal situation would trigger a hurricane of extreme emotions in my brain that would make me cry.
I’m no psychiatrist but I suffer from something that sounds quite similar. Has anyone spoken to you about possibly having BPD or EUPD?
Having a difficulty controlling emotions is a hallmark symptom. Racing thoughts. Extremely labour moods but moods can change very quickly. Anger etc etc anyway the reason I mention it is because my diagnosis is unclear but as well but they suspect I have bpd and somatic symptoms. I also am being screened for schizophrenia though as well…
I remember very well that when I was a child and a teenager, my mom, although she has never been diagnosed with mental illness, was having rapid and extreme mood changes. At a moment, she could be happy about me, congratulating me, and the moment after, she was very angry against me for no rational reason at all. And then, just some minutes later, she was happy about me again. I remember very well that because of that, I used to be totally confused and my emotions were destroyed. I remember that this behaviour was making me have rapid and extreme mood changes, especially when a child.
I looked for the bipolar disorder about which symptoms I could have had:
speak in a rapid (yes) uninterruptible manner (no)
speak excessively: no
short attention span: attention on several things: no, attention on one thing: incredible!
racing thoughts: Incredible!
increased goal-oriented activities: yes
agitation: no
hypersexuality: yes
excessive spending: no
decreased need of sleep: no
impaired judgment: no
psychosis: one psychiatrist said yes, my current one say no
increased creativity: yes
I remember very well also that I often used to feel really euphoric because of a banal situation, for example after meeting a friend or after listening to a song I like. It’s as if I had taken a drug that make me feel euphoric.
I was always needing to be passionate about something and my passions used to change constantly. I don’t know if this is normal but I’m not like that anymore since I’m medicated.
I don’t think that I used to have depressive phases. I think I was rather chronically depressed.
I’m still thinking about that for my meeting with my psychiatrist in September.
How long do those ‘euphoric’ moments usually last? I’ve left the list of symptoms below for Borderline Personality Disorder which it sounds to me like you might be having some of the symptoms of… this is not all of the symptoms but see if you relate…
You feel very worried about people abandoning you, and would do anything to stop that happening.
You have very intense emotions that last from a few hours to a few days and can change quickly (for example, from feeling very happy and confident in the morning to feeling low and sad in the afternoon).
You don’t have a strong sense of who you are, and it can change depending on who you’re with.
You find it very hard to make and keep stable relationships.
You act impulsively and do things that could harm you (such as binge eating, using drugs or driving dangerously).
You have suicidal thoughts or self-harming behaviour.
You feel empty and lonely a lot of the time.
You get very angry, and struggle to control your anger.
When very stressed, sometimes you might:
feel paranoid
have psychotic experiences, such as seeing or hearing things other people don’t
feel numb or ‘checked out’ and not remember things properly after they’ve happened.
The euphoric moments could last from some minute to some days. When I would find a music album that make me feel euphoric, I used to listen to it compulsively for months, and for many hours a day.
You feel very worried about people abandoning you, and would do anything to stop that happening. (a lot)
You have very intense emotions that last from a few hours to a few days and can change quickly (for example, from feeling very happy and confident in the morning to feeling low and sad in the afternoon) (a lot).
You don’t have a strong sense of who you are, and it can change depending on who you’re with. (a lot)
You find it very hard to make and keep stable relationships. (a lot)
You act impulsively and do things that could harm you (such as binge eating, using drugs or driving dangerously). (not at all. I was impulsive by doing things that were making me feel euphoric)
You have suicidal thoughts or self-harming behaviour. (not at all)
You feel empty and lonely a lot of the time. (a lot)
You get very angry, and struggle to control your anger. (not at all)
When very stressed, sometimes you might:
feel paranoid (not at all. I was not not paranoid. I was naive.)
have psychotic experiences, such as seeing or hearing things other people don’t
feel numb or ‘checked out’ and not remember things properly after they’ve happened. (not at all)
That’s incredible, some things really look like me!
The chronic emptiness and fear of abandonment are huge in BPD but seems like you might have other stuff going on too. Anyone hope you find out soon! I know how frustrating it is not having a real diagnosis! ️
What is really bad is that I don’t feel that my psychiatrist really know what is the diagnosis. She said that I have somatic symptoms disorder but I’m not sure she is sure about that and that she know if I have only that. I think she is just happy that she found the right medication and I think that the diagnosis is not so important for her. But it is for me!
But still I really like my psychiatrist and all the previous psychiatrists that I saw were so bad and incompetent. So I cannot really take the risk to go see another psychiatrist. Even if I would, I couldn’t because the health system here forbid it.
So I’m going to ask my psychiatrist questions but I don’t have much hope. ️
️ My only hope to find what I have is by finding it by myself.
️