Hi again. I’m fresh on this forum, been here for only a couple days and it’s actually my first contact with the people from around the world with who I share my disease. And I must say that this forum has been inspiring for me, not only when it’s comes to research on SZ and treatment, but also when it comes to all you who share your experience about your struggles with this unfortunate disease, as well as other illnesses. And most of all I’m really impressed of how you guys support each other, I find that amazing. Lots of positive energy flows from this forum. Anyway, I’m really happy to be here with you and the only thing I regret about this place is that I didn’t have the courage to visit it much earlier.
Today is the 8th anniversary since my last visit in the mental facility while as for now, I’ve been struggling with SZ for 11 years. Here’s my story. I was a classical example of 20-year with an opinion of a wiz-kid- but rebel-student with some talent, big aspirations and plans whose life got destroyed day by day. I lost my personality, I lost my friends, lost contact with most of the family, failed my college, and thought that my life is over. After several months of loneliness (never in my life I was this lonely) the company came up. Yup, the voices… then the PsychWard with bad treatment and bad meds. After coming out of the hospital I was even more devastated. Med side effects, drugs, loads of alcohol, voices and rage, rage, rage… I was a total mess. Then, when I thought it’s over, in the least expected moment help came from the outside. I met someone who supported me for a long time and thanks to her I made it to fully understand that the voices I hear are not actually real and to finally come to terms with it (we broke up, but for other reasons that my mental state). At the same time, after landing in the hospital, I got new meds which didn’t have so many side effects and made me feel a lot better. After I got the new meds and finally accepted my disease, I started creating a new person from the debris which were left from who I was before SZ. It was, and still is the toughest task I’ve ever been through. And however narcissistic it may sound I’m really proud of what I have achieved. It was and It still is sometimes hard, however I think that I can consider myself a lucky guy who actually made it to achieve numerous targets in life while living with SZ. I made it to finish my studies, find a job, a partner, a flat and even start my own business. And I still want to achieve new goals. What I find in my current state of being quite odd is that I actually don’t put much effort in therapies, psychiatrist consultations, and I’m even not too regular with meds (what I think is stupid of me), oh yeah, and I sometimes drink quite huge quantities of alcohol (still I don’t usually drink during the week). I just try to live my life as I wanted to live before SZ and to face every day with all my courage. i think that the support i get from my few loved ones is crucial as well. Moreover, I might say that there may be some things about SZ that actually have made me a better person. I have become humble and careful, I’ve learned to have respect for others and to analyze first before getting to action, learned to care about other people and maybe even more. But most of all I’ve learned to be optimist and to truly appreciate what I have, and I think I’m still motivated enough to achieve more. And I’m sure this website and this forum will help me do it. Happy Sunday Every1!
and I hope you’ll find proper medication. Good luck to you!