19yo / College / Possible Schizophrenic

So I have posted in here before of my symptoms, quick recap:

  • hearing multiple voices (each have different personalities)
  • obsessive compulsive behavior
  • insomnia
  • intrusive thoughts
  • extreme paranoia
    etc etc

I eventually did see a doctor like you all recommended and they are concerned I am schizophrenic (though I have not admitted all my symptoms to them yet) they put me on some tablets but they absolutely spaced me out.

My problem is that tomorrow I have a very important test sit and I really don’t feel “well” enough.
I have been just…off the rails lately. I guess I’m too scared to really be diagnosed so I keep putting it off and changing my answers to my psychiatrist, I feel like people will think I’m crazy.

It’s so difficult because I feel like…just garbage. And if I don’t go tomorrow I will let my friend down in my class and my father down who wants me in class like any parent would - but dealing with this is killing me, I’ve lost 20kg in month and I’m loosing my hair - I’m only 19 :’(

Some days I really do feel crazy, like I am not myself at all. But really my cognitive functions are just beyond damaged, I find it so hard to concentrate, the voices in my head just talk incoherently whilst I am studying or when I am home alone
I am paranoid beyond belief at the thought of intruders so I leave my desk every 5-10 mins and look out the windows.

The OCD isn’t diagnosed and I’m not even sure what it is, I just get this crippling compulsion to do things because I feel like if I don’t do them they will effect my life drastically in a negative way. Eg. If I am drinking coffee and I place my cup on the left-hand side of me I will be fine, but if I place it on the right-hand side of me I will fail my course, be hit by a car, be murdered etc,"
This can pertain to anything I am doing, if things aren’t in an exact, certain place I just freak out and feel physically sick - sometimes my arms spasm and I just feel like screaming in frustration. This occurs anywhere from 5-70 times a day.

I really am panicking about tomorrow, I just don’t have the drive to do this test it’s already so late and it’s to be taken tomorrow. I really feel like I’m at the edge, I don’t know how to get out of it or what help I can get to fix this…

Does anyone have any ideas?

***** EDIT
alternatively, I do have a doctors’s note I could give to my teacher which explains of my anxiety/insomnia that could help me postpone the test…

I sleep at 6am and rest until 8am when I have to get up and go and then am at college until 3:30pm and sleep when I get home for 4-5 hours.

Is it OCD or OCD traits with Schizophrenia?

What meds do they have you on? As it will take you a while to become tolerant to some of them.

Have you started therapy yet, with through a local early intervention team or the University?

Have you told your tutor yet? As they may be able to let you do your exam in a quiet room away from everyone or give you more time if possible.

I dropped out of Uni after I first became unwell and went back a year later and ended up with a involuntary hospital admission. Although I’m continuing my studies through the Open Uni this summer, so hopefully I will get my degree finally.

I wish I knew,

And It’s called Syquet - it made me feel like I was high. I felt very tingling and weird and pretty awful in general. I was tripping quite badly and my mind was spaced out.

No I haven’t told anyone - even my family.

I’m sorry to hear that. Hopefully you get your degree :slight_smile:

it’s so strange, early on, how some might get everything all at once,

but others, it’s gradual, just some mental doom, or thinking everything is about them,
things like that when you’re 19 or 20, nothing real serious,

and then it really isn’t clear, or manifest itself til you’re 25 or 26. I don’t believe some of these young ones,
can do anything to prevent it, but I do believe your first hard fall can be stopped if medicated.

They don’t know your situation and you need to behave like normal people. It is very difficult for you to do that. You need some help from persons close to you.

Ah, Quetiapine!

I got myself onto that before my return to Uni, but it was still too sedative at 600mg. So with support from a PDoc I dropped dosage to 400mg and became acutely psychotic. Although I heave friend that take 800mg and swear by it.

Eventually I found that it became less sedative and I wasn’t peeing constantly on it any longer as I was no longer constantly thirsty on it.

It’s a case of finding the best of a bad bunch then sticking with it. I don’t know what to suggest other than DO NOT STOP TAKING IT. As that’s a fast route to involuntary hospitalisation in my country.

Have you told your parents that your maybe considering going to see the Collage councillors because you have issues and then work from that, maybe hinting at a psychosis spectrum disorder? Maybe hinting that you caught it early!

Did the 400mg make you psychotic or was it just your condition?

The meds make me feel physically ill, though I noticed it did stop the symptoms of schizophrenia but the OCD still continued. I felt quite awful and groggy on them and couldn’t function well, my mind went blank really.
I haven’t taken them since but my psychiatrist didn’t seem to alarmed - And I have not told her all my symptoms beyond hearing voices.

I do suffer from psychosis from a b12 vitamin deficiency though my Doctor is adamant there’s more to it.

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a good psychiatrist will put you on the lowest dose to get rid of symptoms, and you feel good physically.

When you take them, drink milk, or eat a meal. You have to find what agrees with you.
You seem to have the ability to know what is wrong with you, doing it, but not wanting to do it,

what if you just did it? I mean, ok, you’re OCD, I see often in people who don’t even realize it.
You don’t have to be a perfect, normal person, or some kind of idea of wellness.

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I think it never fully worked with me anyway and the drop from 600 to 400 just made things worse.

Didn’t read other responses, so sorry for any repeats. I very much relate to what you’re saying. I kept so much secret from therapists and doctors for so many years because of fear of some terrible label. You just might be “crazy”, though, and you need to tell everything so the trained professional can make that determination. They won’t be shocked, and they won’t use the term “crazy”, and it won’t change who you are. A diagnosis is not for shaming; it’s a tool for helping you manage and improve in function. I hope you take that test and just do your best, but mostly I hope you tell all and get all the help you need. :heart:

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