The tactile stuff is worse than ever. I am beginning to lose my mind I think. I woke in the early hours of this morning to find one of the touchy-feely gang with its filthy fingers in my rectum. I have now discovered a cut the size of a paper cut in the same area. It is very sore but it is not bleeding and I can ‘do toilet’ without any problems. Before anyone states the bloody obvious I DIDN’T DO THIS TO MYSELF!!!. And I sleep alone and don’t have pets upstairs. I don’t care if people think I am nuts when I say this, but this has got ‘alien’ written all over it. I have a spot on my back which has always itched but has remained difficult to reach over the years. I noticed that one of the ‘feelers’ has been going near it. It all makes sense. I am just a lab rat. They are doing this because I am a transplant recipient, and have hypopituitarism. Perhaps it gives them a challenge.
I am going to get very drunk tonight. If the little green b*stards can cut me, what else can they do?
I am glad there are forums like this. I can post in here and people can either think I am psychotic or they can take me at face value and accept I am telling the truth. It doesn’t matter because I won’t be judged. Whereas in other forums I will be utterly ridiculed and labelled a lunatic. But it is still happening to me and I can’t do a thing about it.
My first was hand resting all of a sudden on my shoulder. I turned around and no one was there. I was then kicked out into the street and left to die. So i went across country to get help and then things began to spiral downward. They showed up on halloween and i went mad, they tortured me for about a month.
Some other tactiles have been physically painful. One was an intense jolt of electricity, it hurt badly and was quite frightening, while it happened some fanged grinning face made of light appeared.
On evening i was also burned a little bit. My hand started burning and i looked up at the tree i was under and there was another face made of light staring at me. The burning also left two marks for a time, should have gotten pictures.
And then one night i started laughing at the orgies in eyes wide shut and my spine began to bend backwards. Physical force was put on it. So much force was put on it that it screwed up my breathing.
I feel you. The tactile hallucinations are hands down the worst part of my psychosis. You feel so entirely powerless/helpless.
I just try to distract myself as best I can but a lot of times not even that helps. Distraction is the best option though, I’d say.
It’s so weird though. One day when I was being attacked my roommate snuck up on me and touched my leg. I registered it as them at first until I saw her. I couldn’t even discern between actual touch and the hallucination. Sad.
sorry for your tactile hallucination
just believe no one is really touching you
had the same tactile hallucination
and i took my pillow and walked to the other room
watched cable
Also being around other people might help
or do an activity
I have tried many APs and I’m doing ECT now nand nothing works. I need to find somebody that has recovered that can tell me how. I’m desperate. I can’t live like this. I
How did you make it go away?
I have hands touching my breast and my bud. I have this for 4 months already and I thought about ending my life in several occasions. I cannot make it go away.
As soon as I hear about this particular type of tactile hallucination, I start to bark up the tree of post-traumatic stress disorder or PTSD. This type of tactile hallucination is strongly correlated to symptoms of psychotic PTSD, as well as attempts to maintain control over a sense of threat in the environment that may have something – or nothing – to do with the particular location of the sensations. (Physical trauma is quite often not the issue in such cases.)
Though I do not experience that such tactile hallucinations are always related to partually blocked memories of sexual trauma, one can look into CSA-induced PTSD at http://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC2323517/, but should do so carefully. If powerful emotions start to come up while looking into this kind of material, it’s usually best to 1) close the book or get off the computer, 2) just observe the feelings, and 3) find some pleasant distractions (like hanging out with other people).
Then get with your healthcare provider and tell them about all this with an eye toward getting appropriate psychotherapy for psychologically or physically invasive trauma.
I should add here that I have seen psychotherapy for precisely this symptom set actually resolve the (misdiagnosed) “schizophrenia” several times. And such resolutions of PTSD-induced psychosis have been reported in droves back to Freud’s day.
I am myself a recovering victim of proto-sexual, and mentally invasive child abuse, as well as a cult survivor, with symptoms like these, so I understand the dynamics here first hand… as well as the methods used to unwire the PTSD.
I didn’t make it go away. I still have tactiles. They occur when I am fully awake. I feel warm hands on my shoulders, and believe it or not these ‘hands’ can move about my torso and actually relieve pain. But the sexual stuff is horrible, and often results in an ‘affliction’ which is distressing to me, because having hypopituitarism means I don’t have any interest in sex and am happy that way. I am a kidney transplant recipient and am on a lot of medication, so I don’t want to run to the doctor because he will only add more. The last thing I need is more medication.
I should say that when all this started, it felt like those ‘hands’ doing the sexual stuff had ‘claws’. But as soon as I recognised it and spoke about it, the claws went. Don’t know what all this stuff is. It is weird. I am between declaring myself psychotic and wondering if all this spiritual nuttiness about a celestial battle spilling over onto Earth is actually true. But I think I am truly psychotic, because yesterday I thought Jesus Christ was communicating with me through a comment on You Tube (lol). The comment was weird, because the video was about British Railways in the 1930’s. The comment spoke about coming to seek the lonely and the afflicted, and about ‘drawing them to Himself first’. Then the comment linked to a website called warningsecondcoming.org. Out of sheer curiosity I clicked on the link, but the site didn’t exist. What IS all this stuff? What has happened to me? I never used to be like this.