My new favorite word is “perfunctory”. I don’t know why.
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Maybe because it sounds like a shortened version of perfect-funk-factory?
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If that wasn’t it before, it certainly is now! 
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its merry Christmas every day in my own world hehe
People seem to like talking about themselves, so if you’re not sure what to say, you could ask them a question and hopefully they just start chattering away and won’t even notice you’re the quiet type. 
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i’m turning into a real coward… i dont know if its cos of the meds or something else… i’m worried about the future… everyone dying… having to live alone and take care of myself… or living with relatives or having to find a partner. i just cant function like a normal human being. before meds i was really dangerous and delusional… sometimes i would threaten people or i would go for long walks and get lost…
Was thinking about it last night. Dale Carnegie wrote how to win friends and influence people. I think it’s out dated something by Dr. Lillian Glass Is more up to date and generally the communication expert these days. Are a few of her books available. Goes into a lot more including dealing with things like body langue
Taken the plunge brought E-cigs off the net. Will take about a week to get here. Hopefully will help me quit this toxic habit for good. At the least no more cigarette butts around the house. I’m all for that.
So torn these days to ring back people who say they will ring but don’t. Think it’s my procrastination issues which I think I’ve beaten as I do. It works out to be the right thing to do but still that minor hesitation that second guessing that plagues me all the time.
Have a friend helping me with the house work in a few hours.
Hopefully a good end to the working week as it’s pretty much sucked. Almost 9/11…Was ruok day here is oz yesterday. Did mean to make a post but got side tracked. Hope you are all r ok.
Hugs if your struggling atm.
TGIF I guess.
won over 2000 euro in one week playing roulette, bought loads of new clothes, new laptop, new phone, 300 to my son, made good use of the money
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I want to travel on a plane
Haven’t drank in 2 days wide awake at 4 am. Feeling pretty good might run to the store to get cigs before it storms but it is foggy. Want to start my coffee but I don’t work until 10 and I am afraid it will wire me to much if I start now.
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Hmm think I’ve slept like 3 nights this last week. I’m like the worlds expert on sleep hygiene, yet I’m still sabotaging myself.
Slerp hygiene. Wash face apply. . But hardly ever brush atv night.
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lately i’ve been fantasizing about living in NY… i used to live in Queens. sometimes i just wanna escape this village in Indonesia u know… or live near the city… but the city has its problems like flood and traffic… i dunno i feel so isolated here. i moved like 20 times in my life.
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heh… i sounded so unrealistic… i’m just gonna focus on work and my online shop…
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redemption is within
I’m ready to move to, sick of my place. I was in New York once, not sure I would want to move there. I live in Canada and thinking of getting a one room apt and downsize.
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sometimes i dont realize what i’m doing and i punch myself/my skull. or i try to suppress a scream. i think i should avoid social media and normal people.
How about them yankees?
I want to travel on a plane too.
But I rather I get to chose plane, pilot , passengers etc. 
Traveling can be a delight.
I have also considered moving but i think that where ever i move these immature people will be there…
Not nice community.
Governments, directors,all professions and people they are its who n all they are…
I will not rant about it.
It is as it is.
They feel good and look good but it is not there energy they feel good on and they dont want to be themselves etc etc.
I am still not a religious person.
I have read a bit about different religions and even a bit about satanism but have not finished my readings and im reading about a few different cultures.
I was a muslim for one year.
I prayed 5 x day and wore hijab.
The thought of burka in my mind was it could protect so they dont steal your inner beauty, your life force, your aura , spirit etc but ofcourse it along with computers and programming does the opposite…they can use this to steal this sacredness from you so they feel and look good in my energy etc and i feel not good but am good.
They are all out to steal my energy and light .and money.etc
I do believe there are beings i can be with but they are a minority and are confident in them self and there own energy and self and have no need to steal from me and then say its them…
They are a better people.
These others behave like jealous bully brats throwing tantrums and some are very educated and governments and communities are all like this all around.
If i am good natured others say it them and attack me all against one and one against all pretty much.
I am beyond rich and there is so much to steal from me.
They are actually all jealous and not confident in who they are in there own energy and etc.
and so much money…
Ive been beyond workaholic making more money than i will say yet my body is always exhausted and does not have money.
I see others wear my energy and then attack me with it and they might be in my body and its all of them against me.Thats not even martial arts its war against one person.
There is no shame in them either that they could not take me on one on one unless they cheated…
A someone look and act and feel good but is not.its not the real them.
I may believe i have a Lord and or a God and that will one day let me be myself and help me away from these idiots.
our own worlds and choice of beings to be with and none of them can steal who we are or wear or use it ever again.
My own nature and energy and days and nights and spirit and bodies etc
I do believe this.
The happiest i have ever been is when i get to be myself in my own body.feel and look like my self.
and then want to be with loved one to me.
My energy is not “home” … to just be.Instead others feel good on my aura spirit energy nature etc
It is a huge violation by a jealous and immature people.
They have been all out to get me and i shake my head in disbelief at such a people.
I also must break malicious programming.
i dont want them working in my energy anymore and using it against me they in my body and i in there bodies…not fair … lol
need i explain to myself why… no lol lol lol
thats with them.
who n all they are.
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