It is amazing how this illness works?
I never thought in my mind ’ I am jesus’ but my delusions matched it. I only thought about it when my psychiatrist asked ‘are you the messiah’ and I said no. Then after a while I started contemplating that it matches it a lot. Funny.
I just find it so bizarre that lots of people have the same delusion and it involves around being the messiah. How is this possible?/ Why it isn’t for example, a dinosaur reincarnation or some pagan god?!
Maybe it’s a idea that is up in the air frequently, more than pagan ideas etc.
I guess the mind just decides to connect the dots this way, espically with having this illness that is a very present force.
I honestly don’t know what I believe about Jesus. My delusion has told me I am Jesus and that I, myself, rose from the dead in this lifetime (but ‘they’ made me forget), then they told me I am not Jesus but I am the Messiah, then they told me Jesus was a fictional character but that I am still the Savior. My delusion has left me with more questions than answers.
Based on the Bible, I hear your perspective on Jesus potentially being mentally ill. Ya, I dunno.
“I never thought I was jesus, but now that you mention it,maybe I am” -my life
My delusions are
bizarre and other worldly mainly. It has a storyline. I have grandiose. Delusions of reference, delusions correlating to people, very religious in an ugly way, paranoia of being watched. And the time it was triggered, I was going through very difficult times and aggressive behaviour.
I have a very interesting psychosis - I have shared it sometimes on the forum, but it is horrible and traumatizing. I remember once I thought How can I escape these thoughts and fear?
Anyway, second time around it was much more simple, mainly separation, leave escape, and depression. 2015 I think or 2016?
Do you mind telling me how it started? Like how did you think you are?
People were telling me I am in my IOP group in 2012. And my name starts with J. I’m half Jewish. My birth was a miracle. We had the mental illness thing in common. And the delusions of reference. And the girl I met seemed to have too many coincidences to things in common that I believed God made us meet for a reason. And so many more reasons. I made up a lot in my head but a lot are real coincidences.
I finally realized that Jesus Christ already did the suffering for us 2000 years ago. For me to try to be “like him” in that respect is a waste of time. If he were here today, he wouldn’t be doing that. He already did the suffering part two thousand years ago. The real question is: what would he be doing today? What would his life be like today?
i had this one as a child - i was about 9
Does this really count as schizophrenia if it is in childhood?
maybe i had some childhood problems with delusions ?
I don’t know - i thought i was causing planes to crash with lists of numbers about age 9
i thought about killing myself (in a fairly minor way) to prevent people dying but when i told my sisters they got so scared which shocked me into not really wanting to do that
In a way i hope so - it was so long before i smoked weed or hash and caused the full blown illness perhaps - i don’t like that i may have caused it
Mine is sexual, I guess guilt and suffering.
I had a delusion last summer. I was at the movie theater watching “Tarzan”, and the “Star Trek: Into Darkness” trailer came on. It was the sound track for that movie. I was feeling like the movie sound track for “Star Trek: Into Darkness” was being directed at myself. I was delusively imagining that I was going to be the Anti-Christ and that I was going to fast in the desert for forty days and nights; like Jesus Christ did. The “way” I was going to “bring this about” was by finding a man that I had met in the psych ward ten years ago. I believed that he was a man who was destined to be the False Prophet of Revelation. I believed that him and I were going to rule the world, and re-establish Heaven on Earth (the metaphorical Garden of Eden). I believed that he was trying to re-establish contact with myself, once again. I believed that he “knew” exactly where I was, and that he is also sometimes known as “the Computer”. He was going to mentally “compute” exactly where I was located, without the use of any device of any kind. Because he is “gifted”. I also believed that he had a choice between his “destiny” or being the Wholly Spirit. The word “Holy” is a misnomer; it’s really “Wholly”.
As I was typing this, I believed that my younger brother was sitting in his room, trying to “cover” for me saying this right now. Because he “knows” my “destiny” of being the Anti-Christ. He was trying to “cover” for myself because his friends on the online game he plays were watching me type this post. They were also recording a video that I was watching (of myself) a little while ago, and were “wondering” if I was “The One to Come”. Either that or they were doing it because they are angry/jealous/resentful of myself, and that I speak veraciously sometimes; and that they “overheard” me sometimes through my younger brother’s headset for his online gaming.
I also had a delusion that I was going to find present-day Jesus and be his best friend and his favorite disciple. I figured I was going to feel agonizingly perturbed; but I would just have to keep persevering through it all, and that I would have my ultimate reward with him in all his glory.
I also had a delusion that Anthony Robbins sold his soul to the devil, and that he was trying to “convert” me to his “side”. I believed that he wanted me to “join” him; and that he was trying to get me to be “diabolical”.
I also had a delusion that my Dad “knew” about that man I had met in the psych ward, ten years ago. He “knew” that one of his cognomens is “the Computer”, and that he would secretly refer to him sometimes, in his own “little ways”; whether verbally or nonverbally. He would do this to “direct” me to him, so that we could meet again and plan our world domination.
I believed that I was a genius; a genuine one. One that would bring balance to this world and establish Heaven on Earth (The Garden of Eden) once again.
I had to stop that post short; I thought I heard my younger brother making fun of myself with one of his friends on his online game. He was laughing that I was going to be on child support the rest of my life.
I have the delusion in the back of my mind that the Veterans Administration is killing off all of it’s veterans. Their special veterans anyway. I expect to be knocked off any day now. None of us seem to live to a very old age. It’s really scary. I can’t get out of the system because I have no other way to get care or my meds. I’m between a rock and a hard place. I tell the police about it and they just think I’m paranoid and write me off. All of us seem to die young mysteriously of something or the other. It’s uncanny.
My delusions were conspiracy oriented (i.e. the illuminati) and also had to do with aliens and mind control.
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I didn’t know what to chose. My delusions moved from conspirancy (my ex is with the Russian maffia and wants to kill me) to religious guilt, so I’d chose either religious or guilt. I always believe I did the most horrible things, causing me and my son to go to hell and causing many people to suffer. An example: I was forced to use lorazepam. Lorazepam was made by Bayer. Bayer sold Zyklon B (the concentration camp gas they used to kill jews) in WOII. So I thought that by using lorazepam, even forced, I was personally responsible for the holocaust, and I would sit with Hitler and a few other horrible dictators in the deepest darkest pit of hell after I died.
Part of my delusion is that I know Anthony Robbins personally (like we are close friends) and that he is on my team (I am the Savior in the ‘real’ world) helping to save the world with self brain-training and meditation.
I also think I am good friends with Oprah and that Ellen is my very best friend. All of this, of course, is in the ‘real’ world. I live right now in a staged, fake Truman Show style world.
Yeah, I can relate to the enhancing of the brain and meditating. I have never actually tried meditating, but I have practiced deep breathing occasionally. I would have to work on stretching myself into the proper meditative lotus position. Alright, wow. I didn’t realize how late it was. I’m feeling really out of it right now. I’m going to sleep now. Sorry for not really saying much more. Feeling a bit mentally unsharp. Haven’t been really taking care of myself lately. But then again, if I believe that I am wide awake and mentally clear, it is so. I feel more awake already just from believing myself into thinking that 
. I also have some tooth pain in my bottom right wisdom tooth. Well, if I believe that my pain in my tooth will vanish, it is so. And the more I believe in something, the more it will come true. ;D