I write her real/snail mail letters. I work on them a long time, rewriting, making it interesting. I haven’t written much, my heart is closed up. I started a thread What do I want? and I deleted it because I do know I want to write which I enjoy. I want face to face contact with people. I’ve been so utterly isolated for years since I was hospitalized last. I’ve adapted to being alone but wouldn’t recommend it. I just hope it doesn’t make me explode again someday. I hate the court system. It’s cold and dark. But exploding doesn’t get me the help I need. I opened a Pandora’s box three years ago and have worried about that.
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