I never understood why this happens and quite frankly, I want to. It’s bizarre to me how randomly out of the blue, a part of me is like, “We should stop taking medicine, you don’t truly need it” and I know better than to agree with it…but does anyone understand why this occurs?
I feel this way at times when I feel well and of course when I’m well I don’t feel the need for these meds.
Makes me wonder if that’s what’s going on with me right now, because I’ve been feeling well since my new medicine and every time I’ve felt better, I got the same thing about a part of me saying we don’t need medicine.
It’s a trap. Don’t fall for it!!!
Don’t worry, I know better than to just stop them, even if the urge to follow it is strong.
All websites I’ve read on AP medicines, say that you should take meds despite feeling better.
I know it’s a struggle… you know the right thing to do… but it’s a fight to follow that logical advice you have for yourself … and your feelings.
It really is, some times when I know I’m healing up and recovering fine, this pops up and it really can be hard to stay logical when it bothers you a lot.
Not only do I want to go off meds when I’m feeling better but if I have any little thing go wrong I start in on the “well if everything’s going to be all messed up then I might as well not take my meds” It is truly weird. And it’s like daily that I wrestle with this, I’m so sick of it.
Oh gosh I’m sorry you go through with that, especially with it being a daily issue for you.
I usually am distracted so I don’t really think about it but some times it pops up when I don’t expect it and well, then I feel like I’m fighting with it.
I just don’t really feel like I should take them since I’m doing okay, but that’s usually when it’s a trap. I hope I can win over it easily, it feels like a struggle right now.
Sometimes I’m tempted to stop my ap so my voices could get louder again. I have some positive memories spending time with them and in some ways I long for that to return. But for all the good there’s a lot of bad too which makes it so debilitating. So I’m too afraid to change, all I can do is remember the good times
I can relate to that on some level, it was always kinda like I had a relationship with my voices, despite how toxic they could be at times. I do miss never truly feeling alone and having someone nearby who always talked to me…who didn’t make me feel ashamed for myself.
Unfortunately it’s the toxicity that makes us second guess if going off of medication is a good idea; It’s good you’re not going off of them more often for that reason though.
It happens because you go on meds, your symptoms get lowered, memory is faulty so then you think “my illness wasn’t that bad anyways” and that combined with the med side effects then makes you want to go off. I’ve been there a bunch of times.
It helps I think if you journal. When I look at my journals when ill and off meds vs on meds the difference is night and day and I can see how bad it was before.
That’s true, the fact I think my illness isn’t bad now, definitely starts to influence the decision about going off of them…but that’s when the other part of me kicks in and tells me it’s a bad idea to do so and usually I try to listen to that since after doing reading, it’s a bad idea to just drop meds.
Thanks for the idea, some times I forget to journal when this stuff happens, and I should do it more often.
Whenever I get a false notion to quit medication I remember to remember how unwell I was with sz. It is a state of mind no one who is normal can fathom. It is like being dropped into the open ocean adrift and without any means of rescue. Prey to everything above and beneath you. Frightening.
Yeah…that’s a good way to describe it.
I think back to how I once was without medicine and it was terrifying some times. I had moments where I felt fine and barely anything happened, but the moments where horrifying things happened, those weren’t fun at all.
Thanks for the advice about remembering though, I’ll read through my journals just to see exactly what it was like then.
It is something I’d like to try too… Not sure when. If I do.
Hope you consult your doctor please!
I am too afraid to go off of my meds. I might become suicidal and kill myself. I might get manic and spend all of my money or think I am an angel and can fly and jump off of a tall building or something like that. Too scary for me!!! The paranoia, hallucinations and voices are mild compared to all of that.
For me I get the Sz scratch (wound), so I take meds that become the bandaid I cover the wound with, and after some time, I rip the bandaid off, and whatya know, scabs gone.
It’s a healing process right, so when healed the treatment ends.
Maybe it should be looked at more like new way if life to be maintained by meds?
When I “took the band aid off” the sza wound was still there.
Because antipsychotics are no fun to take. It’s not rocket science.