I grew up in an area where you were expected to be modest in your expressions.
Whenever I meet people with big or very visible emotions, it scares me a little. But In a way, it’s more genuine that way.
On the other hand, it’s a bit off-putting, like there’s something wrong, like they lack inhibition. It awes and frightens me at the same time.
You know the kind of people. When something is funny, they don’t smile and snicker; they laugh and giggle.
When something is sad, they don’t frown or hang their head, they say awww and shed tears.
When they’re angry or upset, they don’t withdraw or clench their teeth, they scoff and stomp, sometimes even rage.
Due to the way I was brought up, I’ve come to associate that with not being brought up right. Like they have a childish mind, and to feel like you never quite know what to expect.
I admire it, in a way.
I’ve seen it especially with Americans. It’s as if it’s more acceptable overseas to let everyone hear your emotions.
I went to a theater performance once, and heard an American talking from the row behind me. During the performance, she cheered from the audience, roared with laughter, sniffled at the sad moments…
The only lack of inhibition of such character I’ve seen from audience before has been from children or those with the minds of children (like my cousin with autism who is mentally a toddler).
How do such people make you feel?
Are you modest with your displays of emotions, or do you unleash them?
Do you feel things at a large scale, or are your emotions more dulled?
I have a good reason for crying at the drop of a hat. when I tried to take my life twice over a two year period back near the turn of the millenium I cry when I’m happy because I always realize most at that moment of happiness that I never would have known happiness had I succeeded in taking my life.
For me, it was thinking about how much effort my parents and my brother have put into keeping me alive when I have not wanted to be. I felt I would be pissing on everything they’d done for me if I let their efforts be for nothing.
I don’t want to break the rules by going into religion.
But the teachings I follow say nothing is permanent, and that also means pain. It helps me remember, on bad days, that while life sucks at that moment , it will not always be like that.
It was not my intention to imply people with big emotions are dumb, and I apologise if I came across that way.
I think it’s a cultural thing.
My community was a secluded, tight-knit community. The only way for the community to stick together was if people didn’t bother or overwhelm others with their outbursts.
In my society, only children had uninhibited emotions because they had not yet learned otherwise. That’s why I compared the American woman to a child.
In other communities, they might find it off-putting or bothersome that my people smile instead of laughing out loud, or withdraw instead of voicing our displeasure. I’ve heard folks call my kinds of people dishonest, zombielike, and twofaced.
Id love to be able to show my emotions, i show anger but never happiness, when im ecstatic i want to sing and dance and roar but i do none of that as i actually feel guilty for being this happy, so i never show it in case one of us is down. But yeah im a closet ‘show my emotions on my sleeve’ guy
I was raised to not show emotions in keeping with local societal norms. I’m from the US but the region I grew up in has different cultural priorities from a lot of the rest of the country. I moved recently (to somewhere else in the US) and people in my new area do seem fairly expressive, at least compared to people in my old area.
Edit: also whoops, didn’t mean to reply to you directly lol, just wanted to post a general reply to the thread.