surpressed emotions/feelings
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When I was a stoner, I noticed I would stuff my emotions way down into my belly, but they would always spring back up -----
Wound up breaking down and attempted suicide 
No I’m a firecracker.
I find myself unable to communicate my emotions to a lot of people. Its not a very good habit to have but sometimes I just feel don’t feel like I want to share my feelings with them. Often they show signs they’re judgmental and I just feel like its easier to say nothing than to be ridiculed or invalidated for it.
But yeah it tends to be a person by person thing. There are some people that I’m more open with about my opinions.
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Depends on who’s in my head
As a kid and a young man I believed emotions, feelings and sentiments to be a weakness to be defeated. I heard that it is an expected attitude in Japan and maybe Chine.
Shortly after schizophrenia hit me, I said to myself that I shall imprint my emotions on everyone who surrounds me instead of suppressing them like previously. Turns out my emotions were extreme and ugly. It was a mistake. I wish I found a way to supress myself further. Maybe if I remained conservative I would have lived what westerners call a successfull life instead of one of regret.
I guess I did bottle it sometimes
I think i tend to have bottled up many of the issues i have as if they arent real issues, when thay were tearing me up or nobody would help me.
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