Okay, so, I’m just throwing this out there hoping to get some feedback. My boyfriend gave me a 14k gold ring (no diamonds, just a gold ring), and it was not a cheap one, fairly expensive (over $900). And that’s great, but then he said it’s “just a ring” and “just a gift.” When we went over to his family’s house, they gasped when they saw me wearing it, and he explained to them it was just a gift. He made it clear this is not an engagement ring, which I’m fine with that part of it, too. He bought one for himself, too, and he wears his, too.
My question: is this his way of saying I’m spoken for and hands off to the world without getting engaged? Or was this just a nice gift and I’m reading too much into it?
There’s no way of telling without actually knowing the guy and having seen you guys together, but off the top of my head, I’d say it might be a bit of both.
Maybe he really feels it was just a nice gift he was giving you to show you he cares, but deep down, without him knowing, maybe he also wanted to mark his territory, so to speak.
My best advice would be to not overthink it. If you liked the present, show him you liked it, and don’t worry about the other stuff.
If you’re really worried, you could try to talk to him about it, but don’t open that can of worms unless you feel you really have to.
He bought himself one too? Was it a special occasion? Maybe it’s not an engagement ring, but does seem to be a sign of affection and connection if you both have one now.
Without even giving it any thought at the time, I just instinctively put the ring on the customary ring finger— the finger in between the little finger and the middle finger on my left hand. He wears his on that same finger, too. A promise ring is more for teenagers in our culture, we’re both in our twenties, but it does seem a lot like that.
Yes, he bought two of the same ring, so we have a matching set, and that’s the strange thing-- that there was no special occasion at the time. My birthday is not until the 27th of December. It took me by surprise. Everyone I’ve talked to about it has said to just let it go and not to bring it up with him, and I should just be happy about it, so that’s what I’m going to do.
Just an update to this thread. His roommate is moving out this month, and he asked me to move in with him after his roommate moves out. I’ll have my own bedroom for all my stuff, but we’ll have to share a bathroom, which I’m not used to. I have my own bathroom at my parents’ house. But I’m excited about taking this next step. My parents have mixed feelings about me moving out, but my Dad said it would be good for me to get out there on my own and try my wings, so to speak. I’m busy packing all my stuff in boxes for the big move after the Holidays are over. Just one last Christmas at my parents’ house. A little bit bittersweet.