Schizophrenia.com

What was your first sign?

It didn’t really dawn on me that I was crumbling until I was 14. When the hallucinations became more solid and the little whispers in my ear became louder and more solid too. They also became more violent and angry.

My skin didn’t really feel like my skin. Touch felt very rubbery and it would really imprint on my brain.

It was around then that I was really confused about what was happening around me, and was feeing like something was going wrong.

What was some of your first signs?

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It was paranoia about people following me and thought broadcasting. I found poems I wrote when I was 14 about telepathy, I blocked that out of my mind.

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being unable to sleep in the dark or alone as a little boy. Actually not being capable of it, being sent to bed and then staring at the clock until 6am then going in my parents’ bed for a nap. Thinking that there were people and creatures in the house in the dark.

I remember running through the dark parts of the house because I thought the girl from The Ring would get me if I wasn’t quick.

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I remember covering my head at bedtime to the point where I could barely breath out of fear of the monsters/ghosts in the dark.

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a mental burn out of exhustion from smoking weed for years, then sleep depervation for days

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when Darth Sidious…made me his apprentice :imp:
take care :alien:

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When I started getting some really crushing anxiety in class when I was fifteen. When I was fourteen I lay in bed very scared at night because I was afraid that satan was outside my window and ready to possess me. (I had seen “The Exorcist”.

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When people started sending me to the hospital

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Panicing and having anxiety attacks at work. Isolating, agoraphobia. Here’s one few people ever write about: I thought I was an expert at reading body language. I concentrated on it to the extreme.

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I was feeling abnormaly anxious when I started college in first year, it was a severe anxiety that evolved in post traumatic stress due to something that happened in my life and then everything started
Also don’t know if it’s linked but did a depression during my first year of high school and been isolated during years

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Mine is similar to Minnii’s reply. I believe in a widely known conspiracy that involves synthetic telepathy, isolation, and broadcasting which is sadistic. It is pretty obvious that it exists actually and pretty hilarious that people deny it and how schizophrenia is part of that denial.

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I had an all-out fight with my father. It was the one year anniversary of my mother’s death. He did nothing to acknowledge the day, and the night grew on without so much as a word being uttered about it. I got hot real quick, and we had a hell of a fight. I yelled and screamed and told him how much I hated him. He responded by breaking my Walkman by stomping on it to make a point. I flipped out, totally lost my mind…was completely out of control. I ran out of the house, and I got just past the driveway and I heard a sinister voice say to me, “Go back. Kill them both. Do it now!!” I marched back to the house where my father and step-mother had gone to their bedroom. I tried to force my way past him and get to the rifles to kill them both, and I honestly believe I would have done it - I was in a blind white-hot rage. He stopped me, and I picked up a baseball bat and ran to the basement and destroyed everything I saw. Destroyed furniture, put holes in the wall, broke the door, just completely flipped out. He came downstairs and tried to appeal to me to stop. In exhaustion, I collapsed and cried like a baby. I’ve never before felt so devoid of life, and yet felt such raw emotion.

After hearing that voice telling me to kill them, I went rapidly downhill. I had horrible stomach pains every morning in school. I openly fought in school with everybody. I got into drinking and drugs, and the voices just would not stop.

I was 12 years old on that explosive November night. About a month later, I was admitted to the hospital and got my diagnosis fairly quickly.

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@alien99
From what I read of your past, I really look up to you for the fact that your doing so well. I hope things keep getting better.

For me… I feel pretty lucky to have avoided the telepathy idea. I used to think I could control things with my mind. When I was in hospital I thought people could read my thoughts. But I’m glad that faded. I was always pretty sure I was being tracked and followed.

Was manic and unreasonably paranoid for several weeks, then slipping over about two weeks into abject terror, during which I was sure that “god” was punishing me for all my “sinning.” (I was not dx’d with sz, but with psychotic bipolar.)

I thought my phone is being hacked and very women want to sleep with me :smile:

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Panic attacks that began when I was 13, and voices in my head threatening me. High school was turbulent.

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When I was four, I threw a tantrum, kicking and hitting the wall and screaming. My mom put me over her knee in desperation and spanked me (first and only time). Then she put me in a bedroom and shut the door. My head was spinning with adrenaline. I saw something in the upper corner of the room. It looked like a group of bats hanging there, looking at me. Then there were things crawing from where the bats were across the wall over and over. Rather than scaring me, they calmed me. I remember thinking “why did they (?) put me in a room with bats and spiders”. These new friends were my secret. It wasn’t until I was 12-13 that I felt tormented by voices and visions of demons. They told me that I was like Mary (mother of Jesus) but that I would become pregnant by Satan and give birth to the antichrist. Another secret to keep.

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I have no idea… But I remember my depressions started when I was 9, so maybe that was the first sign. Then again it could have been situational. Really don’t know. It’s confusing.

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The first real signs were people saying strange things about me. But I thought that was what they were really saying so I paid little attention to them. I now often wonder what was real and what was not and how long it was really going on. The first obvious sign was when the voice in my head when I was thinking sounded like someone else. I didn’t report it to anyone because I still seemed to be in control of my mind, but I would speak out loud in order to hear my own voice and it did concern me quite a bit.

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