I prefer the word faith (not in a religious sense) to hope. Because hope sounds kind of weak to me compared to faith.
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I don’t know if it’s hope so much as determination. I’ve made it this far (I’m 53) I’ve experienced depression my entire adult life. I’ve had suicidal ideation since I was in high school.
But I’ve made it this far and some things have gotten better as I’ve gotten older. I think to myself that if I had stopped all those years ago, I would have never had my son, and I would never have known that some things could get better.
So, in order to find out what happens next, I’m determined to stay here. I want to watch my son make a life for himself.
I guess that’s hope.
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