Same here… when they are being pissy they say stuff like that to me…
My voices are getting better. My voices are my illness, I have no reason to believe them if I’m sick with a mental illness. I know how my brain looks with Sz. I know that whatever my voices are saying I deserve better. I can be healthy and nurture myself. I don’t have to be fixated on my childhood traumas. I’m determined to solve my problems. I know I have a responsibility to myself. Eat better, exercise, get help. My voices will get me exhausted so I need to rest and get sleep.
My voices tell me I was neglected by the unable.
I don’t hear them as much anymore but there are sort of two groups- there is whispering telling me to do things like place my hands on the grill at work and that I cannot trust people, and then there is an androgynous voice that gives me ‘positive’ advice … essentially it tells me what to do and it implies it is some kind of angelic force but gets angry when I dispute this.
my voices are full of ■■■■ basically. anything and everything to try and get me diagnosed as a schiz but it ain’t happening. telling me i can’t write fictional stories about scientific aspirations or even pseudo science as mainstream calls it. personally i think that’s bollocks. it wouldn;t matter what i write seeing as it’s sci-fi anyway. i like to write stories that break the boundaries of science, pseudo science that sort of thing…apparently that’s not allowed…bollox to that…i’m going to write them anyway.
They keep telling me I’m worthless, lazy, pathetic, a loser, a geek, a fat cow, a whiner, simply helpless, things will never change, nothing I do is important. Nothing I do is good enough for anything or anyone. I’ll be old and lonely, I’ll die alone, since I’m 33 and still a virgin they pick on that, and say I’ll probably die a virgin.
When I’m out and about they’re telling me what people are thinking like they look at me and instantly think she’s so ugly, or every time I hear someone laughing I think they’re laughing at me. They tell me I’m going to spend an eternity in hell, and I’m not a good enough person to ever get into Heaven. Or then they tell me there is no Heaven and Hell and that I’m just a good-to-shoes for nothing or it’s cause I’m to lazy to do anything bad.
They say I’m pathetic to be watching old reruns of shows and I’m wasting my time watching people live-play my favorite video game. Then I decide go play it and they tell me I’m wasting my time I should be doing something more protective, so I try and work on my writing, and they say my writing sucks and I should find a job. Then I do bravely search for jobs and they tell me I’m no where near qualified for the jobs I’m finding and the only place I could possibly ever find work is in the fast food industry…which I’m afraid of working in again because of previous experience working at McDonald’s.
Then they say no one would hire because I’m a fat ugly cow. I have a horrible smile because I haven’t gone to the dentist in a long time (can’t afford it for one , and for two I have an extreme fear of the dentist).
And now that I’m planning on going out of town this weekend to see my family the voices are just reiterating that I’m such a fat ugly cow, and make me think my cousins will laugh at me because my look. And they’re making me slightly paranoid that I’m going to be sick on the way up there because it’s an 8 hour car trip (at least) and I do have a history of motion sickness in cars, which is why on long trips I prefer to sleep. So the trip I’ve been looking forward to going on is causing panic build up and I’m worried I’ll have an anxiety attack while I’m in front of my family because I work so hard to hide my illness in front of people.
Then my voices tell me that people don’t believe I’m sick and that I’m going to be taken off of SSI (my only source of income). I was able to get out of jury duty because my doctor gave me a note…now they’re telling me I’m just being lazy. I’m constantly worried when I leave the house that I’m going to get robbed because that’s a fear I have and it’s something the voices like to play on.
Sigh…and this is why I get so depressed a lot of the time. It’s been a little better since my increased in medication but it’s still there. And they’re saying I’ll have a problem with the increased medicine…I’m so tired and worn out from these voices…I feel just drained.
Sounds like the type of problems therapy could help with, I did Mindfulness, CBT and Schema Therapy and I can say I’m not the same person I was before therapy and subsequently being ill.
At least the voices aren’t saying it can all stop if yo call them up and then recite your telephone number as you write it down or type it into your phone.
no they don’t say to do anything, they just pick on me. I figured I’m good as long as long as they don’t tell me to do anything…and if they did as long as I can ignore them I’m okay. Can’t afford therapy at the moment, I don’t know if that would help, I mean I’m not in control of these voices, they’re not my voice.
There are some self help CBT resources and worksheets out there! Just ask around / check the main site!
I had a psychologist help me with the schema therapy even though I was working from a book.
Mine used to beat me up… play on my deepest fears… and give me no rest.
Lately it’s just a muddle or a whisper behind a door.
When the door is open, it’s a lot of commentary and talking about me like I’m not there… which is impossible since It’s my head.
My voices aren’t that bad but their there. They say things like fat b sometimes but other times they give advice. It’s weird but it would be nice if I could find a medicine where I didn’t hear them at all.
What a load of crap they say.
We know better. You have lots of friends here, and we say the opposite.
I think they are jealous of the real you, and thus try to shoot you down.
I’m sure you, in truth, are a sweet person.
i am new to the forum i dont know if i can put a link to a blog were i wrote my story… i cant say in a few words what they were telling so i will just put it and if you have time read it… i just found out i cant put a link…
my voices, in few words, told all about human history from the beginning and that soon the humanity as we know it will end
Thank you…I try my best to ignore them, some times though after a constant stream of it it’s hard to ignore. My medication increase has helped me a little in that department.
Hello noumac
Did they tell you how this was going to happen? I was also told many of these stories of the beginning of the universe and the ending of many worlds prior to them coming here. I would be interested to hear your story.
Powessy
hi powessy! google… babis1976 blogspot and read it in english! thanks
Hello noumac
Thanks for allowing me to read your experience. I relate to some of the things you have went through and the story told to you.
Powessy
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They tell me im gay and that ill get gangraped if I don’t kill myself they also call me the devil and tells me nobody cares about or loves me . but that everyone on earth actually hates me for bringing evil into existence. That’s not even half of it I can’t go to deep because Jess talking about it gives me the creeps. Plus they are always listening, maybe even you guys. Im scared ill burn in hell for eternity if I try to escape this hell on earth
I can completely agree with everything you said, especially the last part. My fear is so strong it is the main reason I’m still around today. I’d like to say it was because I know how important I am to my family but if I’m honest, it’s because I’m afraid of Hell. I know that’s very selfish thinking on my part, but I feel like my life can be such of a Hell at times because of my voices/anxiety levels/other health issues, that the fear of living in that Hell or something worse for the rest of eternity is too terrifying to risk.
right now I have an imaginary therapist taking my history over and over. I’m struggling not to answer for the tenth time. And the overall consensus of the rest of them is I’m pretty much a worthless piece of ■■■■ (that’s more of a thought or assumption)