They started laughing at me because i want to know everything.
“Maybe focus on earth for a bit eh? Must you know everything about everything everywhere?” They laughed because it’s so unusual for a human to do this.
It’s about all that i do now is ponder the mysteries of existence.
What realm am i in, how many are there, what is the structure of existence, how does the origin work, how many beings were a part of the origin, one, two, three?, how many, how many lifeforms exist, who are they and how do they function, did nothing happen naturally, it was all intention, and if so was it experimental in any way, how can a conscious lifeform be everywhere, how many licks does it take to get to the center of a tootsie pop?
So many questions. And they just laughed about it because i do, i want to know everything about everything everywhere, i want to know the history of all of existence and all conscious lifeforms.
They just laughed.
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laughter is good for the soul, they say.
i simply laugh with them.
It wasn’t a bad laugh, it wasn’t at me or anything.
It was a good laugh, which we don’t hear much down here.
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that’s good, i’m glad it was a good laugh, rather than a bad laugh.
though ever tried countering a bad laugh with a good laugh?
i’ve tried
doesn’t usually work
No, that don’t work at all.
The only thing that works is the equal and opposite return of the action to the source of the action.
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so many people, damn…
ever been to a concert like that? i haven’t… i couldnt handle it for a second
and…
that’s interesting, what you said
im not sure ive ever tried that, though maybe i have
memory’s not good at all
it reminds me of the saying…
an eye for an eye, and a tooth for a tooth
That sounds like some of what happens to me
I’ve never seen eye for an eye happen in my lifetime.
Just got a sandwhich for instance, i recieved the sandwhich and gave the guy money at which point he put it in the register and someone else took it from him.
Almost all things i’ve been given were not given back in some way or another.
Never equal and opposite in this place.
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sometimes my voices laugh at me but it is more evil than anything. i’ve heard them laugh when i screw something up. i’ve heard them laugh for no reason at all other than to make me upset. never had them laugh with me at a happy moment.
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I get both.
Some threaten to rip out my spine, some give me fantastic advices, some speak of other lifeforms and universes, some speak of love, some talk of adequate systems for humanity, some speak of peace and how to attain it.
This laughter though was just fine, it was happy and without threat or judgement.
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This reminds me of a homeless man I gave some change to.
He said Thank you, dejected and sarcastically, like he didn’t have enough joy of living left to be thankful.
Granted it was only a buck or two, but it wasn’t the first time I gave him anything.
That’s what my voices tease me about, becoming too dejected and beaten that I stop caring about life and just sink into an inferno of hatred and resentment and physical suffering.
I have a big ego, and when life threatens me with this I go ape ■■■■ and do anything I delusionally think is going to change my situation.
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Yeah, I hear you.
I don’t think I have either.
The exchange rate for most things is gravely unbalanced.
The input is hardly ever worth it, so the output reflects that.
The universe doesn’t give a crap about anything it contains.
It simply is.
This dimension is nothing short of putrid.
I used to do that too, and they would never tell me. So I decided search it up. I found that Buddhism has the explanation that makes the most sense and is the most interesting to me. If you’re interested search up “31 planes of existence Buddhism”.
I think it’s me that is putrid, not this dimension, it’s my flesh that is putrid.
I’ve seen this place from the outside, it’s quite nice.
What is it like from the outside?
I only see filth everywhere I go. And it’s always been that way.
I was born in the wrong place, at the wrong time. This is the wrong universe.
No flesh, that’s bout it.
This place is entirely different to them.
Ah, well, the flesh tends to make people go crazy, I’ve noticed. And not the “schizophrenic” brand of crazy.
It makes people dull, stupid, and egocentric. Focus on it too much, and that’s what it makes you, because flesh is fragile. All it takes is a sharp object to undo it.
The outside world, is limitless, unlike the flesh, which is cage-like and temporary.
Not even you. Just your shell. The world your unforgiving ocean.
I don’t belong here and I never did. I don’t feel okay here. And it seems to me that…“treatment” is nothing more than conditioning to accept this stupid reality as it is.
I guess that’s why most people do better the more they’re connected to it, the more they’re here and not there, but I’d rather be there, because I don’t like being here, and I don’t want to be here. I never felt connected to here, because I’ve always been there, and there is much nicer, even though it’s not compatible with here.
I strive for balance.
All I can do at this point.