In the years following my psychotic break I’ve had difficulty with reading. I can read the words but my brain isn’t doing any translating. I have to pause and really focus on what’s being communicated in order to understand, particularly with longer sentences but even with short ones. Some kinds of writing I’m just no longer able to understand at all.
I feel like I have a learning disability now at 35 years old. It’s been really hard to deal with, and I get so frustrated with myself that I cry.
2 things.
A. You should keep trying to read even if you are poor at it.
You may improve with constant practice, and even if you don’t improve it is still better to keep trying.
B. You should try to reduce your dependence on reading by diversifying your activities.
I have trouble reading also. It’s difficult to concentrate on reading. Just today I downloaded Audible. The first book is free. I’m listening to Rough Stone Rolling about Joseph Smith’s life. Next I’m going to listen to War and Peace. I’ve never read it. It’s known as one of the best books of all time. In short: try Audible!
I understand your frustration. I have difficulty reading too. I have always had a hard time reading large areas of text like you find on the pages of a regular book. I did poorly in the classes that would require a lot reading. I did well in classes that would require reading materials that the contents were broken up by boxes or graphs like math or science. I had to follow along with a ruler and really focus on fiction, I just gave up.
Now I have concentration difficulty to add to the problem and it’s a double whammy. Plus I have a lazy eye so I get headaches, so really it’s a triple whammy. Holy crap, I’m surprised I read anything at all. We should get pats on the back for even reading the posts on this site.
I gave up reading. I have completed five books since my psychosis. I had four more books. But then it was way too much. I have thrown away all books and now stay away from reading. I get violent thoughts when I read more often than without reading. And I never could finish a page without some delusions or this violent thoughts. It never got better in those four years. Television and cigarettes calm me more down than the stress I get from books. And I really always wanted to read since I finished school, but my mind was never made up for it.
I really liked Metro 2033, 2034, 2035. The other books where just a chore for me.
I was always bad at reading when I was young. I used to get poor grade in my language subject. When I become an adult, I started to read psychology books that i’m interested. And now I read books so fast. Try first a book that you’re Interested in! And you don’t have to read the whole book, but just a few pages are okay. And be persistent…!
