Today is 'Coming out day'

Are you guys planning on doing any coming out?
I’m thinking it might be time to come out on Facebook so there won’t be a huge shock when I do legally change my name.

I’ve written a draft to put as my status:
"Today is “coming out day”.
I have always been an oddball, an eccentric, someone who didn’t quite fit traditional norms.
Therefore, I don’t think it will be much of a surprise to anyone who has spent more than 5 minutes with me, that my gender identity is a bit abnormal as well.
I will soon be implementing some changes to my facebook page to better suit how I identify, including my name.
I won’t get upset if you use the wrong name or pronouns, but I would like to kindly ask you to make an honest attempt.

I’m more than happy to answer any questions you folks might have, or link you resources in your preferred language (if I’m able to read that language). I’d rather have you ask one time too many than jump to the wrong conclusions."

I still don’t know if it would be a good idea or not. I worry people will think I’m being an attention seeking snowflake.

How did you folks come out?

7 Likes

I also came out on Facebook. I think your coming out post is good, but it sounds a bit apologetic and defensive, as though you are expecting and prepared for disapproval. I did the same on my first draft. My aunt told me I should write it as though I am expecting everyone to be really excited and happy for me, as well as answer some basic questions like what gender do I ID as, what pronouns do I prefer, what name do I plan on using.

2 Likes

I came out as being attracted to women aswell as men on Facebook but I have never had a girlfriend .

This is my new wrist band I wear 24/7.

4 Likes

I realized I was gay when I was in the 12th grade in high school. This was obviously before Facebook or home computers, 1976-1977. I don’t remember exactly when, but I came out to my family probably when I was 19. I told my doctors also. Everyone knows now that I’m gay including my church that welcomes LGBTQ people. I didn’t tell my employers until 1995.

1 Like

I’m not sure how to do that tbh :sweat_smile:

How about this?

Today is “coming out day”.
I have been wanting to do this for a while, so why not now? It is no secret that my gender identity differs from the norm, and I am happy to announce I am finally ready to go public and include all of you in my journey.
I will be changing my Facebook name to Miika Aulis, as that is the name I find fits me. And I will set my gender settings to “he/him” as those are my prefered pronouns.
I understand if the change might take some adjustment, and I will also be understanding if you slip up and use the wrong name/pronouns. All I ask is that you do your best.
Questions are to be expected, and I’d be more than happy to answer any you might have, (no matter how dumb you might feel they are) as well as link you to appropriate resources.

I have always, to some extent, felt this way. It just took me a long way to fully realise.
I will eventually be taking steps toward legally transitioning, yes, hormones and all that. But for now, coming out “publically” (as in, on facebook) seems like a good first step.

4 Likes

Wow that is so good! I am impressed

1 Like

Thank you! My English teacher always told me never to start more than one sentence in a text with I, so I’m kind of cringing at it to be honest, but I don’t know how to rephrase it properly

1 Like

Forget English class. This is about you. You are the subject. Your use of I is appropriate in this context. Like most rules in English, it is not universally applicable.

2 Likes

I like the use of your I s actually. Like affirming yes this is ME we are talking about. And this is who I am

3 Likes

Thank you both :slight_smile:
I guess all that’s left to do is take a deep breath and press “submit” :grimacing:

3 Likes

One time in the early 2000’s I was talking to someone online and he asked if I was gay. I said I’m bi and he said OMFG DON’T EVER TALK TO ME AGAIN!!! and he never talked to me again.

Really I wasn’t bi I was just bi curious at the time. I was kind of shocked at his reaction though.

2 Likes

A friend of mine who’s gay told me that when he came out to someone who had been his best friend all though childhood, the friend simply said “then we have nothing more to talk about”, left, and never talked to him again.
There will always be haters. But there will also always be people who respect it.

3 Likes

I also give you advice to change your profile pic fairly regularly over the next few months, because whenever you do it will say "Miika has updated his profile pic and remind everyone.

3 Likes

I did it. omg. no turning back now.
Time for a stress-cigarette

6 Likes

I like the second draft a lot. It’s very good. I say go for it!

2 Likes

@Pikasaur Your draft message is well-written and to-the-point. You might consider re-wording the part where you say “my gender identity is a bit abnormal”. There is nothing abnormal about your gender identity.

EDIT: I didn’t see the second draft until after I posted. I really like the second draft where you said “my gender identity differs from the norm”

4 Likes

I’ve had a bunch of positive responses so far.
Even from someone I was half convinced would unfriend me. :smiley:

5 Likes

Hey that’s such awesome news!

2 Likes

Im so happy for you that the response has been positive so far! That’s such great news!

2 Likes

One friend even messaged me and asked me for coming out advice. Me!
Haha I tried to answer to the best of my ability, and I guess that’s all anyone can ask.

3 Likes