i’ll be cut and dry considering if i wasn’t, i’d be here all night.
but,
i feel like a caveman. can’t even tell if this is tied to me also being (very) autistic or not but i know it correlates to my (heavily) self-speculated disorganized schizophrenia affecting me really intensely.
do…any of you relate?
I generally feel like a square peg in a world of round holes, but I have learned there are a few holes that fit me if I look hard enough. I was DXed with Disorganized SZ decades back, but it shifted to Paranoid Schizophrenia as I improved.
I’m not sure what you mean by very autistic? ASD1 or 2? Probably not 3. I’m on the spectrum, but high-functioning enough that the rest want to kick me off because I hurt their feelings.
noting the part about schizophrenia diagnoses, wow. i’m kind of scared to get diagnosed. i don’t know if they’ll say i have that or just will still think i’m bipolar but also schizoid (i have a lot of schizoid traits even down to deficit empathy and flat affect, though) or…whatever else.
and re: autism,
i’m directly related to someone (my younger brother) who has severe autism. other siblings of mine generally are higher-functioning than me,
i think i’m somewhere inbetween. level 2/moderate autism … whatever you call it? i still have a lot of severer tendencies in me i feel like, judging based on stuff i’ve read and A LOT of memories i have being … particular about things, with no explanation (it’s a long story.)
It’s just a label and it opens the door to treatment which in turn opens the door to recovery. It’s the first step in making your life better. I think delaying diagnosis is scary. There are better outcomes for early intervention, but the longer you wait the worse your chances will be in the long rum.
i’m already in a rut about avoiding seeking diagnoses considering i’ve shown signs of disorganized schizophrenia (and bipolar disorder but i DID get that diagnosed) & schizoid tendencies on top of that as early as when i was 14. it really kicked into gear btwn 15-17, i … really do not feel like the same person anymore, like at all. hard to put to words. it was assumed by someone i don’t talk to anymore that i was just undergoing normal kid stuff but.
it feels like so much was lost? but like what was lost was never there, also? it’s so weird to remember,
ultimately you’re right, though.
i’m overdue. i’ll figure it out. thanks.
If you’re able to come here and post this coherently with DS then you’re doing pretty good and are ahead of the curve. Honestly, just jump on this so you can move forward with your life. It sounds like you’re spinning your wheels and suffering needless anxiety as a result. Why do this to yourself?
Yeah, @shutterbug is right about you should know what you got so you can learn how to treat it. Getting a diagnosis can only help you, not getting diagnosed isn’t going to make the problems go away or help with symptoms. The doctors need to know your diagnosis so they know how to treat you and what medications to give you.
bad influences (tfw inexperienced with world and aware of it), being too easily swayed (THIS ONE MAKES ME MAD TO THINK ABOUT!!!), fears of hiring process being more difficult for future jobs.
it’s kinda just those.
february 1st onward (cause that’s when i’m eligible to enroll for health insurance at my current job, i mean,) i think’s my now or never moment regarding sorting out diagnosis stuff. i actually would have sought one out prior to now but since i moved out i’ve had a lot of trouble finding a job and also even paying for meds. but, i’ll be okay.
How old are you now? Just go to the psychiatrist and they will diagnose you on the first visit.
i’m 24.
and, noted.
might try something about getting diagnosed soonish if i’m still on my grandmother’s insurance. i can feasibly pay for meds now, it’ll just be a second.
My last employer knew about my MI issues and I still got hired and promoted over the years. Was heavily recruited by my new employer on LinkedIn. Had candid discussion of my MI issues and still got the job with more $$$ and more vacation. Employers don’t care what your issues are so long as you can bring the awesome at your day job. My track record is good enough that no one cares about the label on my forehead.
one thing i was worried about out the window, then. but also, sounds about right.
i think i was holding onto this … stupid (but, ultimately, human. from how i interpret it) desire of being more like people i talk to, i guess? which is kind of weird to reminisce on, cause i’m typically the only person in the room who’s schizo-spec when i like am on places i’m on, online.
i think i have to just see a doctor, really. less even concerned about label stuff and diagnoses cause my experiences are my experiences-i just miss (and think i Really Need) antipsychotics, above all else. my ability to get by without impresses me but also i only ended up like this cause of messy life stuff. 
It doesn’t matter so much how your leg got broken. The important thing is to get back onto your feet and into the race again. Take whatever help you need from whoever offers it to do that.
you’re right, yeah. thank you.
I got by for about 8 years without trying aps. I cant say it wasnt without consequence, i def have some cognitive issues from repeat episodes. My last one noticeably worsened my general functioning.
Some people think antipsychotics cause brain damage or whatever but psychosis causes brain damage too.
I usually just take them for a while when im having an episode. Most people just take them longterm daily though which is prob the safest approach.
due in for psychiatry stuff on Feb 1st, 11:00 CST. place isn’t too far from my house,
i’ll…get answers. i’m overdue.