They tell me that i can change

Are they sure?

Im sure that they aren’t sure actually.

In fact im sure they have no idea what they are saying.

People may change at times, go a different way, but it comes naturally and it’s all cause and effect. It’s topography to a river is what it is, naturally occurring inner and outer topography.

They just won’t get it though. Over and over again “you can change! you can change!” I don’t know what they mean either, how in the hell am i supposed to do that exactly? They’ll go “just feel different! think different!” How in the hell am i supposed to do that?

Cause and effect. Thats all that this place is. Nothing is choice.

The guy kept throwing a word in there to, a very special word to people. It’s a magical word. If.

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Wow pansdisease, I agree, that’s how it goes, huh?

Yes, i think it does, it just goes.

I have to be more careful not to talk that way myself. Be more in tune with the causes and effects, maybe if i know them all i can do more good things.

Dude didn’t know really what he was saying to me though. He just proclaimed that i could just change like that, just choose it right?

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You’ve got a lot going on, pansdisease…

And I mean that in a good way. Focus on your strengths. Slay the beast every time it tells you otherwise. But above all, be true to yourself.

You’re not perfect…none of us are. But I think you’re wonderful!


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Im going to agree with you, i am wonderful aren’t i.

I mean i am so so wonderful, almost in everyway to.




Er…not in every way…just when you make me laff my pants off!


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The greatest changes I usually experienced typically came after intense dreams and sleep. Somehow they provide motivations to do certain things.

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@notmoses: You wanna take a turn with the brick wall?


You could change if you made a choice to. You have not once that I can ever recall made any sort of recovery related post in this community. You have not disclosed any of the things you are doing to get better. Or anything you have tried in the past to improve your lot.

Anything would be better than the non-stop, “aaah aaah they’re after me look what they showed me whatever you do don’t give birth its evil AAAAAH!!!” …stuff we are becoming numbed by. You are the toxic drip drip drip of misery and discontent.


Contraryistic (is that a word?) (who cares? you know what I mean) learned helplessness + unmedicated autonomic hyper-arousal may trigger me to experience empathy and compassion. But I know when my capacities are =truly= useless.

Supportive approaches, however, do not need to be co-dependent and enabling. One can communicate sincere concern and continue to ask…

How’s it working for you, brother?

I agree with a lot of what you say pansdisease. But for me, when I’m feeling not so bad, it’s in the background, when I’m feeling not so good its in the foreground. So I understand where you’re coming from.

Success is measured by quality of life though, so maybe get more selfish, ask for an antidepressant.

Having experienced what you’re believing/feeling, all I can say is, it’s much better having it in the background.

I’m on abilify and it acts somewhat as an antidepressant which is probably what’s doing the trick.

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Im in quicksand and can’t get out.

Thats my lot bro.

Nothing i can do about it either, im screwed. Let me miserate and dicontentiously speak my words.

You are telling a guy without arms that he isn’t trying more to become a better basketball player.

Wise words as usual.

If. Could. Should.

Some of people’s favorite lingo down here.

I always enjoyed the extremely imaginary combination of could and if like you have written.

Science tells us that people just work a certain way, changes come when they come, like seasons or something. But it could be winter right now if…

It would be ok if you just talked about it, but you’ve said you watch videos about it, like it’s your hobby.

I’m exactly like you though, just my meds put all that stuff into the background. For the most part.

A lot of coffee quickly brings it all to the foreground and I turn into someone who feels like posting the same way as you.

I don’t think anybody should judge you or suggest that you snap out of it though.

Except that you have changed.

Fact 1: You used to post a lot more about assisted suicide.
Fact 2: A policy is in place to suspend posting privileges when you do this.
Fact 3: You’ve mostly gotten out of the habit of posting about that here now.

So, yes, it was possible to incrementally change one of your bad habits for the better. There’s no doubt you suffer under the weight of heavy delusions. You are also a walking mess of bad habits. If you are able to correct more of them – like your propensity to gravitate towards negative thinking and conversations – you could improve other aspects of your life and how others relate to you. Improving how others relate to you would be especially beneficial for your living situation, nie?

Do you REALLY like living the way you do? It could be a lot better if you were to seek out treatment and willingly try to improve. I’m pretty sure that whatever treatment you get now (if any) is fought tooth and nail. I’m not talking about getting back into the workforce type improvement, just occasionally being able to crack a smile type improvement.

Anyhow, yeah, you can change for the better, and we saw it happen here. I’m sure there will now be a rash of bad behavior on your part to prove me otherwise, but it’s too late. We saw your behaviour change for the better over time. If you can change one, you can change more.

Not trying to be your enemy here, brah. Don’t think anyone should have to suffer like you do when better alternatives exist. Problem is, I can’t do your work for you. This path is yours to walk.


cc: @notmoses @SzAdmin

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I didn’t change.

I was just forced to stop posting about what i wanted to by way of repeatedly getting suspended.

I think that i should be able to post about those things.

Oh, phooey, Your communication with others has been better as a result. We’ve even seen healthier interactions between you and others - things like you making the odd funny. Sorry to ruin your day. :wink:



Don’t matter none.

You are a good mod i should say i suppose maybe perhaps.

I am somebody who was told that he had no arms and that the best I could ever expect was to be made more comfortable about that fact. Turns out, I had arms. And legs. And I could do a helluva lot more than anyone ever thought possible. So when I see someone else who thinks they are in the same hole, first thing I do is grab a shovel.



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Good MIT moves. Damned good.