The five stages: denial, anger, bargaining, depression and acceptance
I’ve just realised that everyday is like one of the 5 stages of grieving. I think I’m grieving for the life I had. I was diagnosed late in life.
Today it’s anger’s turn! But tomorrow could be acceptance. It’s random.
I understand completely. For me, I mostly stay in depression. And denial.
I’ve heard that it could be anger one day, denial the next and then acceptance followed by denial. It doesn’t have to go in order. I spend most of my time bargaining, or in depression and denial.
I definitely experienced denial, anger and depression and now I think I’m in acceptance, in that order, about my mental illness… I don’t know what bargaining really means though. I made a post about this the other day kind of.
I’m pretty sure that bargaining is, when you tell yourself, if I could just have this, then it wouldn’t be so bad. Like I tell myself, if there was a med that I could take that didn’t have the side effects then I would be able to handle this illness.
“Iff I could have a girlfriend everything would be alright” I said in the past.
I do experience that when someone close dies …
My bargaining consists of “if I do such and such then maybe I’ll have a better time in the afterlife”, if there is one. I’m only 50/50 on there being an afterlife though. But that still doesn’t stop me.
That’s an interesting way to look at it. I was diagnosed early so I only had childhood to compare life to. When I’m psychotic I go through the bargaining stage and denial. 
I would like to know how you imagine afterlife.Religions have different views of how it looks.Some believe in reincarnation.
If there is one, I’m sure it’s probably like this life (i.e it’s got good areas, bad areas, pitfalls, helpers, the malevolent. ). Just my opinion on something I’m not sure exists 
We all greave in our own way. Main thing is to let yourself go through the grieving process.