I feel like I’m slowly getting dumber. I’m having a lot more trouble relative to how I used to, but when I compare myself to those lower functioning, I’m still really high functioning in that area.
If it wasn’t willpower, I’d likely be dead, honestly. I’ve felt a general urge to die for a long time, but with people keeping their eye on me, I have to maintain some sense of functionality, so I force it.
Most of mine is in rumination and then the gibberish guy who just blabbers at me. But my Geodon just got upped today, so I hope this time it can kind of stamp down all of that enough so I can still focus in classes and stuff.