Mr. Star and I are traveling today to stay in a hotel next to the hospital, since I have to be there at around 5 AM. I am afraid, but also excited. Looking further into the science behind my procedure helped a ton.
I also talked with my surgeon, and that put me at ease. He doesn’t think much of my jokes, though. I asked if he could do a study on the effects of zero gravity on the prosthetic, thus giving me a free trip into outer space. He said “No. You can go to space. It will be fine.” I personally think I should get a free trip to outer space, but whatever
Mr. Star hasn’t been sleeping well. He has been having nightmares, which is rare for him. I don’t want him to be sad, but it does feel reassuring to know I’m not the only one who is nervous. I feel like we are a team on the same page, instead of like I am the high maintenance one who needs to be managed.
My mom came out to visit last night. We did a puzzle, and she brought me a stuffed animal that is similar to the one I had for my last surgery. It was really nice because I couldn’t fine the other one anywhere. I think one of the kids took it at some point. It was a good visit, and I was glad. The past couple times we visited, we got into fights. Mr. Star helped me to realize the main solution, which is that she and I have much higher quality visits when we are at our homes, instead of out in public. She gets social anxiety in public and starts acting very performatively normal, which makes me uncomfortable so I start acting more preformatively abnormal, and we spiral out. At our homes, we just act like ourselves. Our actual personalities get along much better than our fake ones.
Sometimes others just don’t get our humor. lol. I would know on that one.
I get the nightmares things as well. I was having them for a couple days since conflicting with my wife a bit. It’s weird how our subconscious plays out on our stress when sleeping.
It sounds like you have had a day with lots of reassurance and support, which is great.
The anticipation is almost over now. I’m confident you will be fine and we will talk to you soon.
Good luck on the surgery and we will all be hoping and/or praying for you.
Thanks, everyone! I am nervous as hell still, but also super excited. And I have left instructions with Mr. Star to update the mod team if I am not allowed on screens for a while after.
best of luck with the surgery.. wishing you a speedy recovery 
