Other mentally-ill people tell me that I’m not my illness.
But the truth is, I can’t help but see myself as my illness.
I am what the society tells me that I am. Nothing else matters.
No matter what I tell myself, “I’m worthy,” or “I’m good”, that doesn’t change in other people’s eyes because people broadcast on TV and on the Internet saying that schizophrenics are dangerous.
No matter how much I shout “schizophrenics are not dangerous!” people do not change.
No matter what I tell myself, the society doesn’t change. That’s NOT how others see me.
There’s no use of being nice to myself. I deserve to be tortured with stigma. I’m not worth it.
No. Your worthy of kindness like we all are. It doesn’t matter what they say…that is just things that are based on poor thinking.
You are a human like us all. You deserve a life even with sz. We all do deserve a good existence.
It does matter. Our lives really do so keep cool and keep working. It’s not easy. It really isn’t but you can get to some level of being even on the meds…
For Example, My Family Threw Me Away. But!, I Didn’t Follow Suit And Throw Myself Away.
I Love What I Love. I Never Held Too Much of an Ego. Jealousy is Dangerous, And Ruins Lives.
I Tried to Commit Suicide, And Discovered Much About The Questions of My Faith, And Origin. I Decided to Actually Look at The Universe And Learn Some Things. If I Wanted to Please My Entire Hateful Family, I’d Be Dead By Now.
Learn to Let Go of What is Meaningless, And Useless to You.
If Someone Doesn’t Appreciate Your Contribution to The Universe. Then Find The Peace in The Center of Your Heart And Walk Away.
People are nasty to Sz and Sza. It’s even extraordinarily difficult for most of us to get work.
Sometimes I hate normal people. Or at least the ones who decide who does or doesn’t get hired.
But I found a way to work sort of anonymously online.
Working poor and middle class tend to think they’re too good to associate with a poor MI
person like me.
But I’m going to a decent sized low income housing complex. I’ll have friends and if my plan to work suceeds, a gf.
My one gf was in the hospital. She was purdy lol
I didn’t really think of her as a gf because I was embarrassed it happened in a hospital. (plus I had low self esteem)Staff kind of kept us separate. We were minors. We had fun playing the old arse video games the minors ward had.
The worst advice I have heard is, always eventually reveal your DX. If I got hospitalized it won’t matter. She wouldn’t be around that long.
I don’t worry about society. I worry about individuals. Society as a whole is a mixed bag. There’s plenty of disfranchised groups if you look at the big picture.
Personally, I don’t do drugs, I’m not violent, I’m a working, tax paying citizen. So I have a clear conscious and believe I am free to do what I want within reason. When I’m driving around or taking a walk in the park I’m more worried about the occasional as*hole who might want to bother me but on the whole, people ain’t worried about me.
People in cars or other hikers glance at me for a second and then go back to playing with their kids or talking to their girlfriend/boyfriend.
I realize there’s stigma out there, my neighbors are a certain ethnicity who dress in clothes that are traditional in their culture and play music particular to their culture. I think they look down on us but I have more problems with the other mentally ill people in my own building. When it’s gets too bad I leave and get away.
No one can stop me from going to the park or out to eat or wandering around the store seeing if there’s anything I want to buy. I help myself by being clean and nicely groomed and dressing nice. When I was shopping at the drugstore last night there were a couple people who bugged me but worrying about society didn’t even cross my mind.
Afterwards, I went to use my coupon for a free chili dog but ended up driving through McDonalds. Some asinine teenage girl in the car ahead of me was playing some game and kind of fooling around trying to bug me but it had nothing to do with society, she was just a typical teenager being an ass.
I don’t think the word “society” crossed my mind the whole night. Society can take care of themselves, I’m more worried about me and my life and my own personal problems and challenges.
