Do you ever blame yourself for being responsible for how you are and what you struggle with?
I was diagnosed with Aspergers as a child. And ofc sz doesn’t help the situation. But I feel I have more or less recovered from psychosis and that my biggest issue in life is that I’m a social idiot.
In September I’m going to move to campus for university and I feel like I won’t fit in and that nothing will be enjoyable.
It’s becoming increasingly apparent to me that when I feel socially belonging to a circle, I perform better and am motivated.
Idk. I guess I’m just crying about how unfair things are and that idk how much to feel responsible for where I am and what I struggle with. (Not literally crying btw!)
Even just at current my situation is that there’s so many things I want to learn and achieve in terms of skills, but I have no motivation and mental well-being good enough consistently In order to achieve.
Long story short: I hate life because I have no friends and it’s burdensome to even be alive.
Do you think this is bcz of sz? Personally I struggle with these and have one friend. I have severe negative symptoms staying in bed most of the time everyday, my friend isn’t really helping with this.
I tried a dopamine supplement, it helped a bit but I was too stupid and overdosed by taking 7 pills at once. I thought it would make me like I was before sz. I ended up getting psychosis and nearly told my mother to bring me to the hospital. I took 6mg Risperdal at 9pm and the next day I was back to normal. My usual dose is 4mg at 11:30pm.
I don’t think so in my situation because when I did have one friend last year, I was actually really upbeat. But there was the caveat that I was distracted by him a lot.
I feel if I had a better quality friend, then I’d be upbeat and also focused. I don’t think it’s sz because symptomatically sz for me is like a development thing or episodic thing for me. If I get too stressed then the symptoms are there, otherwise I feel I’m more or less quite normal
I had better friends before sz. Lost them all. Sucks I know. I want to go back to university and make good friends but I cant and even if I can they will be 10yrs younger than me so I won’t connect with them.
I’m in the same boat. I’m 25, the average student is 18-22. Maturity wise I feel there is a little difference, idk. I’m expecting that I’ll at least have acquaintances whom I can do study sessions with and get help from if I struggle.
I’m okay with not having friends, but I do need a network to help me when things get tough in my course
I feel the same, I’ve tried my hardest to forget and pretend it never happened though.
I just want it to be over. I’m not interested in feeling like a patient or being labelled ill.
I do what I can do avoid feeling like I have any illness, but that is a stressful way to live and can cause a potential relapse, damned if you do, damned if you don’t